Afterbirth (Week 10)

You know... the stuff that just kind of falls out when the party's over.

Big 12 Defenses Downright Offensive (Part 3)

You and me and 9 guys from the nearest pub could score a touchdown on the Nebraska defense. (90 points scored in that game, an Oklahoma victory)

You and me and 9 guys from the nearest pub could score a touchdown on the Kansas State defense. (73 points scored in that game, a Kansas victory)

You and me and 9 guys from the nearest pub could score a touchdown on the Texas defense. (72 points scored in that game, a Texas Tech victory)

Is anybody listening? If we can expand on the subject, let’s just agree right now that there is not a single team in the Big 12 playing championship caliber defense. Not one. In addition to the examples above, Missouri gave up 438 yards of total offense to Baylor, a team that ranked 54th in total offense coming into the game. Sure, the Tigers won, but what could a team with a real offense and a real defense do to them?

Huge

But, speaking of the Big 12, what would you have said if, back in the last week of August, somebody had told you that one of the biggest games of the year would be … Oklahoma State at Texas Tech? It’s okay to admit that you would have chuckled and declared that person to be severely delusional. I might have done the same thing. In my mind, though, this game is only big because it will determine which of the top Big 12 teams will be next to fall out of contention for the BCS championship. I’m going to repeat it until one of us (you or me) pukes; the offensive numbers being posted by teams in the Big 12 probably have at least something to do with the fact that the defenses stink.

The Top 10 Club

Statistics can be misleading, but it is interesting to note that there are currently three teams in the nation ranked in the top 10 in both scoring offense and scoring defense; Southern California, Florida and Penn State.

Every Dawg Has Its Day

Unfortunately for Georgia, it wasn't Saturday. Below is a short highlight video of the Gator stomping of the Georgia Bulldogs. Even if you had never heard of the game, and didn't know the outcome, I don't think you have to go far into the video before you get an idea what happened. All you need to see is Brandon Spikes' vicious tackle of Knowshon Moreno on the second play from scrimmage (about 20 seconds into the video), and I think you could guess who won. It's hard to watch it without smiling...



You know it's bad when it becomes the subject of the Sunday sermon at UGA...

My Crystal Ball Says...

...that I know what will happen in this week's key games. Always remember that I'm right, and your team sucks.

#8 Florida vs #6 Georgia (in Jacksonville)
Let’s make one thing clear: I hate Georgia. Not just a tad. Not just somewhat. We’re talking a whole freakin’ lot. Although, admittedly, I have a soft spot for Georgia girls… ;) On paper, these are two pretty evenly matched teams. The difference appears to be on defense, where Georgia has been susceptible to big plays, and Florida has improved significantly. Georgia RB Knowshon Moreno is the real deal. If the Gators can slow him down better than they did last year (188 yards rushing), they will win.

#1 Texas @ #7 Texas Tech
I’d love to see a Texas Tech win here, just to see the BCS hierarchy shaken up. They score an average of 48 points per game, but their early season competition wasn’t exactly stellar. The tough home stretch starts now. Texas, on the other hand, has faced opponents ranked 11th or better in each of their previous three games. They are tested, but are they tired as well? I think so. I’m going to take the Red Raiders.

Wisconsin @ #21 Michigan State
I decided to pick this game because it gave me a chance to repeat, yet again, the fact that Wisconsin is so consistently over-rated at the beginning of each season it makes me want to vomit. This is a team that was in most top 10 rankings in August, and, in some people’s top 5. Why?? Repeat after me. Badgers? We don’t need no stinking Badgers. They are now 4-4, and little more than an afterthought. Kind of like a nasty burp after a Taco Bell combo meal. Michigan State absolutely imploded in their loss to Ohio State two weeks ago, but rebounded to win at Michigan. I am by no means a Spartans fan, but I think they win this one.

Nebraska @ #4 Oklahoma
Remember when this game used to be huge? The winner of this game pretty much always won the old Big 8 and ended up in the Orange Bowl. Oklahoma, under Bob Stoops has regained the status they enjoyed in earlier glory years. And Nebraska… hasn’t. All eyes will be on the big games in Jacksonville and Lubbock while the Sooners take care of business.

#15 Florida State @ Georgia Tech
I hate Florida State, but they’ve very quietly crept back into the Top 25 after losing to Wake Forest on September 20th. The ‘Noles have often been just a bit susceptible to teams that can line up and right right at them. And that’s what Georgia Tech will do. Bobby Bowden is looking for his 13th straight win over the Yellow Jackets. I don’t think he’s going to get it.

#24 Oregon @ California
Will the real California team please stand up? What will we see Saturday? The team that beat Michigan State in the home opener, and pounded UCLA last week? Or the team that was physically dominated by Maryland and Arizona? When Oregon gets their offense going, they are hard to beat, but their defense has struggled at times. Cal seems to be a better team at home, and, unfortunately for the Ducks, this game is in Berkley.

Northwestern @ #17 Minnesota
This is an interesting matchup of two teams that have clearly exceeded expectations this year. Northwestern is 6-2. After going 1-11 last year and surrendering almost 37 points per game, Minnesota is 7-1, and allowing just 17 points per game. Northwestern started the season 6-1, but lost last week, inexplicably, to a pretty lousy Indiana team. In that loss, RB Tyrell Sutton sustained a season-ending wrist injury. After this week’s game, the Wildcats finish the season with games against Ohio State, @ Michigan and Illinois. They could finish 6-6 because the Gophers will take this one.

Miami @ Virginia
Virginia started the season 1-3, including a 31-3 thrashing at the hands of the mighty Duke Blue Devils. But since then, they’ve won four straight. When RB Cedric Peerman got healthy, things seemed to turn around. Are they good enough to beat a mediocre Miami team? They may be without starting fullback Rashawn Jackson, who was arrested this week on larceny and breaking and entering charges dating back to last year. Miami has problems at the QB position, and their offensive production is way down as a result. But the defense is currently 15th in the nation. In the interest of fairness, I should admit that I hate Miami. And I’ll take Virginia in this one.

Sometimes You Just Need A Hug

Every now and then, something happens that restores my faith in humanity. Sadly, the effect doesn't last long, but I still appreciate it at the time. In last night's Cincinnati win over South Florida, Bearcat wide reciever Mardy Gilyard streaked into the endzone in pursuit of a long pass from quarterback Tony Pike. Gilyard caught the pass out of bounds and his momentum carried him into the stands where he crashed into 7 yeard old Garrett Monroe, who ended up in tears - probably more scared than hurt. Gilyard's instinctive reaction might brighten your day, at least for an hour...



As it turned out, the kid was interviewed by ESPN's Erin Andrews, and, by the end of the game, was signing autographs! Go figure... Game recap, and additional video can be found here.

The Non-S Conference

I've decided to do something a bit different. I'm creating my own college football conference. Nobody will care, except me, and even that is questionable. It will be a new conference of old teams, so technically it's not even totally new.

But I thought it would be fun to track an imaginary league consisting of the 12 teams whose names don't end in "s." You remember these, right? Of course you do. This was the subject of a world famous Illegal Procedure blog entry back in August. Click here to be reminded.

Here's my inaugural Non-S Conference Report...

Alabama (Crimson Tide) [8-0 overall, 5-0 in the SEC West] – Beat Tennessee in Knoxville, 29-9. Up next? A home game against Arkansas State.

Illinois (Fighting Illini) [4-4 overall, 2-3 in the Big Ten] – Lost at Wisconsin 27-17. Next up? A home game against Iowa.

Marshall (Thundering Herd) [3-4 overall, 2-1 in Conference USA] – In their last game on October 18th, they lost to UAB 23-21. This Tuesday, they host Houston.

Navy (Midshipmen) [5-3 overall, independent] —Beat SMU 34-7 in a game in which they didn’t attempt a single pass – the first time since 1997 that a Division I team went through an entire game without a pass. Next up? A home game against Temple.

Nevada (Wolfpack) [4-4, 2-2 in the WAC] – Lost at Hawaii 38-31. Next up? At Fresno State on November 7th.

NC State (Wolfpack) [2-6 overall, 0-4 in the Atlantic Division of the ACC] – Lost at Maryland 27-24. Next up? At Duke on November 8th.

North Texas (Mean Green) [0-8 overall, 0-4 in the Sunbelt Conference] – Lost to Troy 45-17. Next up? At Western Kentucky.

Notre Dame (Fighting Irish) [5-2 overall, independent] – Beat Washington 33-7. Next up? A home game against Pittsburgh.

Stanford (Cardinal) [4-4, 3-3 in the PAC 10] – Lost at UCLA 23-20 on October 18th. Next up? A home game against Washington State.

Syracuse (Orangemen) [1-6 overall, 0-3 in the Big East]– Lost at South Florida 45-13 on October 18th. Next up? A home game against Louisville.

Tulane (Green Wave) [2-5 overall, 1-3 in Conference USA] – Lost at home to Rice 42-17. Next up? At LSU.

Tulsa (Golden Hurricane) [7-4 overall, 4-0 in Conference USA] – Beat UTEP at home 77-35 on October 18th. Next up? UCF on October 26th.

UGA Beware

Once again, for those of you who know me, you know that I am a Gator fan. If you didn't know that, well, you do now.

I'm also an animal lover. Not a card-carrying member of PETA, mind you. But I find it virtually impossible to kill anything larger than a mosquito, and I tend to be fond of almost any kind of animal that we humans have domesticated over the last 10,000 years or so.

But this week is a special week. An unusual week. It is a time when a surpisingly large share of my attention is focused on the demise of one single, mangy mutt. By 6:30 Saturday afternoon, I hope to see the famous University of Georgia mascot looking something like this...



All I can say is, UGA beware.

Countdown to UGA's Demise



Dawg Dance

In case anyone needs a reminder, the Georgia Bulldawgs celebrated their first touchdown in last year's game in a way that was remarkably classless, even for them. And, despite head coach Mark Richt's subsequent attempts to deny that the event was pre-meditated, we know differently...



World's Largest Outdoor... Something or Other

Speaking of THAT game in Jacksonville, I can kind of understand the reluctance of both schools' administrations to refer to the game by its decades-old nickname. I mean, there is no need for them to offically endorse it. But, come on. It is what it is. If you've never been, I highly recommend it. There is no other atmosphere like the one surrounding that stadium before the game, and inside that stadium during the game.



And, let's get real. It IS the World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party.