Sources in Knoxville are saying Tennessee head coach Phillip Fulmer will step down at an 11 A.M. news conference tomorrow. Apparently he's going to take a job with FEMA due to his ability to evacuate 100,000 people in less than three hours.
JUST KIDDING! HAHAHAHAHA.......
Sorry coach. Couldn't resist.
Nope. Won't Go There. OK. Maybe I Will.
I’m no longer a sophomore in high school, so I’m trying desperately to avoid the obvious opportunity to make tasteless jokes about Thursday night’s college football game. The game itself is interesting enough, and the anticipation of it doesn’t need to be tainted with locker room humor. Obviously, USC has a lot on the line. It seems they’ve been pre-ordained as this year’s kings of college football. But Oregon State is one team that can claim some success over Southern California in recent years – having won 2 of the last 4 games in Corvallis, including a surprising 33-31 win in 2006.
Still, it’s the Trojans against the Beavers, and I’m having a hard time letting that fact slip past my adolescent fun meter. ;)
You know... the stuff that just kind of falls out when the party's over.
I Rock. 'Noles Suck
I would like to point out that I went 9-0 on my Crystal Ball picks last week. Wake Forest kicker Sam Swank almost made me regret giving him props. After hitting 18 field goals in a row, dating back to last season, he was 4 for 7 Saturday night against Florida State. Fortunately, the Demon Deacons needed only two of those field goals to beat the Seminoles. The mighty ‘Noles had seven turnovers in the game, and their quarterbacks combined to go 12 for 36 passing with 5 interceptions.
What is the World Coming to?
You know that the stars are re-aligning when Vanderbilt breaks into the AP Top 25. Do you remember the last time the Commodores were ranked? Of course you do. It was in 1984. The number one song on the Billboard charts was John Waite’s “Missing You.” It displaced “What’s Love Got to Do With It?” by Tina Turner. Vandy has started this season 4-0, something they have done only four times since the war. As in World War II. I think Bobby Johnson is a heckuva coach, and he has Vanderbilt playing about as well as they can be expected to play. The toughest part of their schedule is still ahead of them, but, for now, I enjoy every time I look at the polls and see “Vanderbilt.”
School of Hard Knox
Knoxville News Sentinel sports writer John Adams wrote a great COLUMN following Tennessee’s pathetic showing against Florida. Among the memorable quotes: “What does Florida's Brandon James have to do for UT to stop kicking him the ball? Score twice on one play?”
In the Chase for the Heisman
If you think the Heisman Trophy is all about putting up great numbers, consider the day that Missouri’s Chase Daniel had on Saturday. He attempted 43 passes, completing 36 of them for 439 yards with 2 touchdowns and no interceptions. But the really remarkable thing is that, at one point in the game, he completed 20 straight passes, a Big 12 conference record.
Speaking of Numbers
Florida’s Tim Tebow isn’t putting up numbers like he did last season. He hasn’t had to. Florida’s defense is much improved, and the coaching staff hasn’t flipped past the first few pages of the offensive playbook in wins over Hawaii, Miami and Tennessee. But I found this stat, and this quote, on ESPN.com "...Tebow's going to be there when the Gators need him. Even though it wasn't his best day against the Vols, he was 6-of-8 for 95 yards and two touchdowns on third down." Now that's impressive.
Can't Blame the Rats
I was thinking about this after seeing highlights of the Rutgers 23-21 loss to Navy, during which Scarlet Knight QB Mike Teel took a swing at one of his teammates in sheer frustration. I often wonder about coaches who change jobs like they change clothes, jumping at “better” opportunities like rats leaving a sinking ship, with an apparent lack of regard for their current institution. But, if I may add another outdated metaphor, you have to strike while the iron is hot in the coaching profession. Or you end up like Greg Schiano at Rutgers.
In 2006, Schiano coached his team to a remarkable 11-2 record after decades of football futility in Piscataway. Suddenly, everyone was impressed. Athletic directors at bigger and better programs were interested. Schiano, undoubtedly flattered by the attention, insisted he was committed to the State University of New Jersey. In appreciation, Rutgers granted him a contract extension. Then the Scarlet Knights stumbled through an 8-5 season last year. This season, they’ve started 0-3, including Saturday’s loss to Navy, and they haven’t played a Big East conference game yet. If Schiano didn’t have a contract holding him in place, you wonder if he could even get a job managing a Taco Bell in Hackensack.
I can think of two other coaches who probably should have jumped ship while they had the chance. Kirk Ferentz led Iowa to consecutive records of 11-2, 10-3 and 10-2 starting in 2002. Other major universities showed interest. The NFL showed interest. Ferentz stayed in Iowa City. Only to suffer through a 6-7 season in 2006 and a 6-6 record last year. Jeff Tedford caught the eye of the college football world when his California Bears upset USC in 2003. By 2006, he had coached his team to a 10-3 record, and a high profile to which they were unaccustomed. Last season, Cal started 5-0 but lost 6 of their last 7 before finishing with an Armed Services Bowl win over Air Force. This year they’ve started 2-1, but were physically dominated in an unexpected loss to Maryand (click here for evidence). Both of these guys could have commanded big bucks just a few years ago. Now, they might be lucky to keep the jobs they have. So, when the rats jump ship for a bigger and better one, who can blame them? The ship they’re on now may start sinking in a year or two.
Look. Up in the Sky. It's a Bird. It's a Plane. No. It's a Scoreboard
For some unfathomable reason, Arkansas defensive end Damario Ambrose (#58) started spouting trash to Alabama’s John Parker Wilson on Saturday. This despite the fact that the Razorbacks trailed 42-7 at the time. I mean, what could he possibly have said? Only John Parker Wilson knows. But the Tide quarterback did the best thing a mature senior leader could do. He reminded Ambrose that there was a scoreboard at the end of the field displaying the numeric representation of a complete ass-kicking.
...that I know what will happen in this week's key games. Always remember that I'm right, and your team sucks.
#21 West Virginia @ Colorado Colorado is still rebuilding under Dan Hawkins. West Virginia is still wondering what happened against East Carolina. My gut feeling is to go with the Mountaineers. But my gut feelings have been all wrong lately. The Buffs win a close one.
Iowa @ Pittsburgh This game features two teams that missed out on bowls last year, and two schools whose alumni have come to expect them. Pittsburgh is still trying to recover from the season-opening loss to Bowling Green. If the Panthers lose this one, Dave Wannstedt may find for-sale signs planted on his front lawn.
#9 Alabama @ Arkansas The Tide seems much improved in Nick Saban’s second year. The Hogs have struggled with Western Illinois and Louisiana-Monroe. Roll Tide.
Arizona @ UCLA Two weeks ago, this looked like a key early game in the Pac 10 race. Then Arizona lost to New Mexico, and UCLA got destroyed by BYU. UCLA is dead last in the nation in rushing offense. That’s right, 119th. And Arizona has a decent passing attack. Arizona wins this one.
#4 Florida @ Tennessee Phil Fulmer is 142-34 against the rest of college football, and 5-11 against Florida. Of course, it didn’t help that the Gators were coached by a guy named Spurrier for 12 years. Now they’re coached by a guy named Meyer who is 3-0 against the Vols in his short tenure in Gainesville. The Gator defense is improved. The offense is improving. Tennessee seemed very ordinary in the loss to UCLA. Who are the playmakers on that squad? Look for the Vols to keep it interesting for a while, but expect a Gator victory.
Miami @ Texas A&M The Aggies opened the season with a home loss to Arkansas State, followed by an unimpressive win over New Mexico. How bad are they? Miami’s offense still needs work, but the defense is excellent. This one won’t be close. Just remember, you can’t spell scum without UM.
#18 Wake Forest @ #24 Florida State I should be honest here. I hate Florida State. If Adolph Hitler and his boys came back to life for a day and played the ‘Noles, I’d root for the Nazis. St. Bobby is getting some pretty good quarterback play from Christian Ponder. But Wake Forest has won two straight over Florida State, including an extremely enjoyable 30-0 pounding in Tallahassee in 2006. Wake Forest plays with discipline, and they make few mistakes. Unless Florida State. Demon Deacon QB Riley Skinner is now officially the most accurate passer in the history of the Atlantic Coast Conference. And you gotta like any team with a kicker named Sam Swank.
#6 LSU @ #10 Auburn These are two offenses that haven’t gelled, but two very good defenses. When these two teams meet, it is typically a low scoring affair. LSU is 5th in the nation in rushing defense. Auburn is 9th. Eleven of the last eighteen games in this series have been decided by seven points or less. Something’s gotta give. Something tells me the Tigers will win. Haha! Just kidding. The LSU Tigers.
#3 Georgia @ Arizona State The Sun Devils started this season looking for respect. Then they lost to UNLV. So now they’re just trying to save face. Georgia is the wrong team to play when you’re in search of redemption. The Dawgs have a remarkable road record under Mark Richt, 26-4 to be exact. Soon to be 27-4.
Those of you who know me know that I am a Gator fan. If you didn't know that, well, you do now. This is a big week for Gators around the globe. It's the week of the first conference game. It's the week that Florida travels to Knoxville. With that in mind, this seems like the perfect time to share with you the best sentiment I have ever seen expressed on ESPN's College Gameday.
The Other Trojans
This week, the former Sweatervest Juggernaut has to play the Trojans again. Fortunately for the Buckeyes, it's the Trojans from the University of Troy and not the Trojans who made Ohio State look like a Pop Warner team last Saturday.
Apparently, I wasn't the only one who noticed that Ohio State seemed to move the ball more effectively with Terrelle Pryor as the quarterback. An article on CBS Sportsline notes: "Against USC, he (Pryor) was at quarterback for 25 plays, Boeckman for 39. The Buckeyes averaged 5.1 yards on Pryor's plays, 2.8 on Boeckman's." The question is, why didn't Jim Tressel notice? I mean, isn't that what a coach is supposed to do?
Jahvid Best, Meet Kevin Barnes
There was a bunch of good college football on TV this past Saturday. A whole bunch. If you started at 10:00 AM (EST) with Gameday, and went until the end of the Fresno State-Wisconsin game, like I did, you enjoyed almost 16 hours of college football! If you were trying to pace yourself, and didn't tune in to the early games, you missed a classic slobberknocker.
Early Pick! Kansas State @ Louisville
If this is part of a movement to schedule college football games on almost every day of the week except Sunday, I second the motion. Tonight, we get a rare and interesting Wednesday night college football game with Kansas State visiting Louisville. In the name of full disclosure, I have to admit I have no idea which team to pick. I have yet to see Kansas State play. Statistically speaking, they are superior to the Cardinals in every category. But, their first two games were against North Texas and Montana State, games in which they outscored their opponents 114-16. I did watch Kentucky beat Louisville in the season opener, and the Cardinal defense was not good. Two years ago, Lousiville was 12-1 and playing in the Orange Bowl. Then Bobby Petrino jumped ship - a move in which he apparently set a personal trend - and Steve Kragthorpe was hired to stop the bleeding in a 6-6 season last year. Kansas State, meanwhile, finished 5-7 last year, and signed a platoon of JUCO transfers hoping for an immediate fix. I think both teams are mediocre, but the Wildcats are just good enough to win this one.
You know... the stuff that just kind of falls out when the party's over
The Myth of the Sweatervest Juggernaut Stops Here
Let’s all agree, right here, right now, to end the Myth of the Sweatervest Juggernaut. Ohio State hasn’t won a big game since the 2003 Fiesta Bowl, and, while I will be eternally grateful for that controversial upset of the stinking U, I am now perennially annoyed that I have to listen to early season blabber about the Buckeyes being a great football team.
Let’s agree to leave them out of the preseason top 10, out of any mention of Heisman or any other trophies, and off the list of national championship contenders until they show that they can behave like anything other than the sweatervest-wearing whiners they have become. It is apparent that, while your coach dresses like Mister Rogers, your team plays like Mister Rogers. Win a big game. Outside the Big 10+1. Then come talk to me.
Will anybody beat either USC or Oklahoma this year?
If I had to bet right now, I’d say NO. After last weekend, it looks like the Trojans won’t get much competition from the rest of the Pac 10. Cal got manhandled by a very average Maryland team. Arizona lost to previously winless New Mexico. Arizona State suffered an overtime loss to UNLV, and, as a consolation prize, get to host the Georgia Bulldogs this week. UCLA couldn’t manage a single point against a BYU team that scored 59 of them. Oregon State finally collected a win against Hawaii after losing their first two. Oregon, although they won a tough game at Purdue, is now down to their third string quarterback. And the Washington teams look terrible, collectively going 0-6 to start the season. Who will beat the Trojans?
Oklahoma has yet to score less than 52 points in each of their first three games. QB Sam Bradshaw is the real deal – currently second in the nation in passing efficiency. But the Sooners have a much tougher road. Saturdays will be a little harder as they begin conference play. I think the top four teams in each division of the Big 12 would be competitive in any other league besides their own and the SEC.
So Much for Crystal Balls
Okay, so I was a very dismal 4-5 this week in my predictions. But, seriously, other than my Ohio State pick – a mistake I will NEVER make again, now that we’ve all agreed that the Sweatervest Juggernaut is not – I had a lot of close calls. Kansas led South Florida 20-3 at one point before collapsing in the second half. Fresno State had opportunities to beat Wisconsin in a close game. The Battle of the Tech’s was another close one. And, while some may have predicted a Notre Dame victory, nobody could have predicted the Michigan turnover avalanche that sealed their fate early.
I was a professional sportswriter for a while. I swear. Then I discovered that I hate professional sportswriters. So now I do this just to bug them. And you.
If you like it, share it. If you don't, you obviously have poor taste. Haha! Just kidding. Sort of.
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