I know, I know. I just posted my Week 2 Review and Week 3 is already gone. Sue me. Or, better yet, pay me the big bucks to write these things and they'll always be on time. Or, almost always.
Don't Forget. I Was Right
It is the solemn duty of every alleged sports writer to remind his faithful readers every time his predictions come true, and to never again mention the predictions that backfire. Since I believe in solemn duties, I am choosing now to remind you that, when I discussed (here) the fact that the alleged Notre Dame Mystique no longer exists, I challenged readers to try to convince me that Notre Dame would start the season off with anything better than a 3-3 record.
Well, the Fleeing Irish are now 1-2, and the next three weeks have them playing #16 Stanford and then at Boston College, followed by a home game against Pittsburgh. You do the math.
Just remember I told you so...
Baby Gators
Since I have a strong University of Florida heritage, you'll get a moderate dose of Gator news here. Hey, if you don't like it, find a Seminole blog somehwere. Surely, there are at least one or two of them that know how to spell.
Anyway...
As if any of you need another reason to worry, here is something that should scare everyone but Gator fans.
As I pointed out here, the Gators played more freshman in their first game than any other team in the country.
Of the 70 players who made the trip to Knoxville 43 are underclassmen, 21 were on their first road trip and 19 played in their first road game.
The Knoxville News-Sentinel did the math this way: 41% of the players standing on the Florida sideline in Neyland Stadium were either freshman or redshirt freshman.
Note to the rest of the nation: this Gator team may struggle to get victories this season, but they'll get a bunch. Next year, watch out.
Conference Call
You'd pretty much have to be an idiot to think that there is a better college football conference in the land than the SEC. There is just too much evidence - objective, subjective and circumstantial.
ESPN.com's Ivan Maisel recently wrote a little more about that subject here. But there is a subtle nuance that often goes unmentioned, although I'm sure the athletic director at every SEC school knows all about it. Maisel points out that there are seven SEC football stadiums with a capacity of over 80,000 (no other conference has more than four stadiums that big), and those stadiums are filled to an average of 98% of capacity on game days. Think of all those seats, all those fans, paying for tickets.
When you combine that with fanatical booster support, merchandise and licensing income, TV revenues, and the payouts the league has collected from having put teams in BCS bowl games eighteen times since 1999, what that means is, in addition to speed, skill and talent, SEC teams have lots of money for nice things. Nice things attract new recruits. And new fans. And new TV contracts. And on-the-field success. And more national championships. And, thus, the cycle repeats itself.
Oh wow. It's August... whatever the heck the date is... and, you know what that means! It's time to get Illegal Procedure wound up to full speed. Or at least take it out of neutral...
There are plenty of boring sites, mostly full of speculative garbage, that help you follow recruiting or spring practice or the NFL draft. I don't do any of that. Mostly, during the off-season, I drink beer. Then, once college football gets started, I drink more beer! Only I watch college football at the same time.
It's a remarkable system. I highly recommend it.
At the beginning of the season, I don't like to spend much time looking back. Last year is done and gone. But I don't like to look too far forward either. Should we really be talking about the favorites for the Heisman right now? It's August... whatever the heck the date is... for God's sake.
So I'm going to kind of look back and look ahead at the same time, and talk about things I will miss in this sure-to-be-terrific 2010 college football season...
Tim Tebow
Come on. You know you're going to miss him. He was the poster child for college football for the last three years. He is still the center of attention in the NFL despite the fact that he has yet to play a meaningful down for the Denver Broncos. He was a Heisman Trophy winner, a conference champion (twice) a national champion (twice), and a class act.
And he may have had the most publicized concussion in the history of mankind.
Even those who claimed to hate him secretly wished they could have him as their quarterback. It's okay, you guys. You can admit it now. It's time to fess up.
I thought his career in college football was nothing short of historic (and I said so here). I hope he wins a couple of Super Bowls to go with the rest of his football credentials.
Just for kicks, I did a Google search for his name and came up with 2,030,000 results. Good Lord.
Speaking of the Lord...
The Notre Dame Mystique
If, indeed, there ever was a Notre Dame mystique, now that it is 2010 and the Irish have been mediocre for more than two decades, can we all agree that the mystique is gone? Vanished? Kaput?
As if we didn't have enough proof on the football field, Touchdown Jesus was struck by lightning in June, and subsequently burned to the ground. Granted, it was a Touchdown Jesus in Monroe, Ohio, and not the one that has blessed Irish victories over the years, but that can't be a good omen, can it?
Notre Dame's Touchdown Jesus is still standing, but that's the only thing in South Bend about which that can be said.
I'd like to quote from a little piece I wrote last November called, When Irish Eyes Aren't Smiling (you can find it here):
Think about this for a minute. If you are an eighteen year old senior in high school now, and you probably didn't really start consciously watching college games on television until you were twelve or thirteen, that means your first meaningful memories of Notre Dame football were seeing them suffer through seasons of 5-7 (2003) and 6-6 (2004), and then watching them fire their second coach in four years.
Since I wrote that, they finished last season with a 6-6 record, fired Charlie Weis, and hired a good old Irishman named Brian Kelly. Notre Dame fans apparently expect Kelly to immediately improve their offense, and then produce a defense out of thin air. Good luck.
When was the last time anybody besides Beano Cook seriously considered the Irish to be a contender for the national championship? Beano has more chins than the Irish had victories last season. And we're still waiting for Ron Powlus to claim one of the three Heisman's he was supposed to win.
Here's an interesting statistic I stole from somewhere: Utah has more unbeaten seasons in the last six years (two) than Notre Dame has in the last thirty. That's particularly relevant because the Utes visit South Bend on November 13.
As an aside, and just for the record, nobody should ever mention the Utes without also allowing you to view this classic scene from My Cousin Vinny:
Anyway...
Look at Notre Dame's first 6 games this year- Purdue, Michigan, at Michigan State, Stanford, at Boston College, and Pittsburgh. Now try to convince me they're going to be better than 3-3 coming out of that stretch.
The game in Baltimore against Navy is no gimme (haven't the Middies taken 2 of the last 3 from the Irish?). In addition to the aforementioned game with Utah, there is the season finale at USC. If, with a bit of help from above, they manage a 4-2 start, Notre Dame will still have at least three tough games remaining on their schedule. And, with two losses more than likely before they even get past the second week of October, they will revert to being what they have been for the last twenty years - an afterthought.
Wave good-bye. The Notre Dame Mystique. Gone.
Bobby Bowden
As a Gator fan, there were few people that I despised over the years as much as Bobby Bowden. In retrospect, I think that was a bit unfair. I often thought he was a lax disciplinarian. I thought he tolerated a defense that stretched the limits of the rules of sportsmanship in an effort to intimidate. And I thought his whole "dadgummit" personality was mostly just an act to curry favor with the media.
I think I was at least partly right, but, at the same time, let's face it; I despised him because the Seminoles inflicted some serious pain on Florida under his direction. Although the Gators still have a substantial lead in the overall series (33-19-2), the most telling statistic is the record during the Spurrier years, which many consider the beginning of the golden era of the Gator Nation. While Steve Spurrier went 117-19 against everybody else in college football from 1990 to 2001, his record against Florida State was a frustrating 5-8-1.
But even that didn't keep me from feeling sympathy for Bowden when certain Seminoles decided to run him off campus at the end of last season.
In my view, he had earned the right to coach as long as he wanted to. The way he was tossed aside made me a little nauseous.
Once again, I'd like to quote from a piece I wrote in October last year called Stand Still Bobby While I Get That Knife Out of Your Back (you can find it here).
Bobby Bowden gave you a football program that was worth watching, when you actually bothered to show up, and now you want to unceremoniously shove him out the door. Unbelievable.
You were willing to sit back and gloat during the decade and a half that your Seminoles dominated college football like no other team ever has. Let Bowden enjoy the twilight of his coaching career as much as you enjoyed its prime.
But, the idiots in charge sent him packing, and I have to say I will miss seeing him on the sidelines this year. The good news is - now I can go back to hating Florida State without reservation.
Rational Numbers
To mathematicians, a rational number is any number that can be expressed as the quotient a/b of two integers, with the denominator b not equal to zero. I was never good at math, and I am only somewhat good at being rational. But will someone please drive directly to the conference offices of the Big 10 and the Big
12 and ask them what the heck they think they're doing?
As it was, the rest of the nation collectively giggled for a few years when Penn State joined the Big 10 in 1993, thus making it an 11 team league. But we kind of got used to it. And I suppose you have to give them credit for coming up with the clever logo that had an "11" conveniently embedded in it.
Then came the off-season shuffling this year that saw Nebraska leave the Big 12 to join the Big 10, and Colorado leave the Big 12 to join the Pac 10. None of this will take effect until after this season ends, but what you will end up with is a Big 10 that has 12 teams, and a Big 12 that has 10 teams.
But both conferences are keeping their old names. So much for rational numbers.
Yes, I know. It sounds like something from a Woody Allen movie. And I would probably laugh if it wasn't so... dumb. Seriously.
While all this was going on, the Pac 10 also lured Utah away from the Mountain West. But at least the Pac 10 is planning to change their name to the Pac 12.
Note to self: if ever I am the founder of a college athletic conference, don't put a number in the name.
Shameless Self-Promotion:
If you enjoy this blog, share it with friends. Heck, you can share it with enemies if you want. Comments are always appreciated. You can leave comments here on the blog. You can e-mail me at illegalprocedureblog@gmail.com. Or you can send me messages by carrier pigeon if you happen to have a bird trained to follow the scent of Stella Artois or Conundrum.
I'm ready for some college football!!
One last thing. I'd like to introduce a new feature that I will use at random when it pleases me. It is nothing more than a handy wave file designed to make you smile. I call it...
I was recently cleaning up old files on my laptop and discovered something that absolutely needed to be shared!
As part of the Valenti and Foster Show on WXYT-FM/AM in Detroit, Mike Valenti is known for being a bit harsh and crusty. And, as a Michigan State alum, you can imagine how he felt on Monday afternoon, September 25, 2006, when he sat down to do his show. Just two days before in East Lansing, Michigan State had squandered a 16 point lead against archrival Notre Dame. After leading 37-21 in the midst of a torrential downpour, the Spartans surrendered 19 straight points and lost 40-37.
When I first heard this back then, I laughed and laughed. But I knew how he felt. Every serious fan has had his favorite team cause moments of extreme frustration that defy logic and go beyond explanation. This was Mike Valenti's moment.
It's fifteen minutes long, so be sure you have some time when you sit down to listen to it. It takes him a few minutes to really get fired up, but it's well worth the wait...
When Irish Eyes Aren't Smiling
Nothing is going well at Notre Dame these days. There is even a rumor that a group on a religious pilgrimage to South Bend saw teardrops falling from the eyes of Touchdown Jesus.
Things are so bad that quarterback Jimmy Clausen was sucker-punched by an angry fan in a local restaurant on Sunday.
A Notre Dame fan.
The latest word is that the shiner he sustained won't keep him from playing at Stanford on Saturday, where he and his teammates are likely to get more of the same.
But, if the alleged experts are correct, it appears the Charlie Weis era is coming to an end.
The Notre Dame faithful seem to feel they have a divine right to a superior football team, but they keep picking the wrong guy to lead the reformation. Since 1996, when Lou Holtz departed after eleven seasons with a 100-30-2 record, his three successors have combined to go 91-65.
Under Weis, the Irish are 1-11 against ranked teams, and currently 35-26 overall, which means not only do they fail to win the big games, but they sometimes struggle to win the little ones.
Something has to change. And soon.
The alleged experts tell us that Notre Dame's reputation alone will always provide a strong pull for recruiting, but I'm not sure that's true.
Think about this for a minute. If you are an eighteen year old senior in high school now, and you probably didn't really start consciously watching college games on television until you were twelve or thirteen, that means your first meaningful memories of Notre Dame football were seeing them suffer through seasons of 5-7 (2003) and 6-6 (2004), and then watching them fire their second coach in four years.
Weis may or may not have been the wrong guy for the job, but Notre Dame has really been led down the wrong path by the people above him.
Meddling from the university president and its board of trustees has made the job of athletic director at Notre Dame a difficult one. When Tyrone Willingham was fired after just three seasons, it was against the wishes of then athletic director Kevin White. It is interesting to note that he was the first Irish coach in 47 years to be fired before his initial contract had expired.
From 1914 to 1987, Notre Dame had a total of six athletic directors. When Jack Swarbrick was hired last year to take over for White, he became the fourth AD since '87. If you count George O'Leary, who was fired just five days after his hiring, when it was discovered he had taken some creative liberties with his resume, Weis is the fourth football coach hired since Holtz left.
Something's clearly not right.
Cutting Weis loose will be expensive - the buyout on his contract is rumored to be as much as $18 million - but the cost isn't purely financial. Notre Dame's reputation has suffered along the way, and continues to suffer. It's not the dream job it used to be. Already, Florida's Urban Meyer, once thought to be a prime candidate, very quickly, and very publicly, removed his name from any further speculation.
Several other names have been tossed around, and it will be interesting to see what happens, but, however it turns out, Notre Dame fans had better hope that the next guy is one that can make them happy for a long time, because, right now, Irish eyes aren't smiling.
The Bone Head Call of the Week
I've thought for a while that LSU coach Les Miles was a dunderhead, and I have said so. Saturday, he went out of his way to prove it.
If you didn't see the loss to Mississippi, you missed some of the most inexplicable clock management ever committed by an alleged coach. It was so mind-bogglingly dumb, that it's hard to even explain.
With 1:17 remaining, LSU scored a touchdown to make it 25-23. The two point conversion failed, but the Tigers recovered the onside kick.
After completing a pass to the Rebel 32 yard line, LSU, almost unbelievably, went backwards 16 yards on the next three plays - an incomplete pass, a sack for a nine yard loss, and a screen pass that lost seven yards.
But here's the really unbelievable part. Facing a fourth and 26, coach Miles allowed 17 seconds to tick off the clock before somebody somwhere on the LSU sideline realized they hadn't managed to use their last timeout.
There were nine seconds left.
After the timeout, quarterback Jordan Jefferson miraculously completed a pass to Terrance Toliver at the Ole Miss five yard line. The first down momentarily stopped the clock, but, with no timeouts remaining, the Tigers scrambled to the line of scrimmage hoping to spike the ball and kick a field goal.
There was one second left.
A) You can't spike the ball with one second left.
B) If they hadn't allowed the 17 seconds to tick away earlier, there would have been plenty of time to line up, spike the ball, and kick the winning field goal.
At first, Miles said he "thought" they had called a timeout. Then, he admitted that he "didn't know what to do" after precious seconds had ticked away.
The game ended in pathetic confusion when the ball was whistled ready for play at the Rebel five, and the lonely second ticked away.
If anybody in Baton Rouge is wondering, I'd gladly take $3 million a year to stand on the sidelines looking like a deer in headlights.
This week, the usual Monday feature is called Upon Further Further Review because, even with the help of video replay officials, college football referees can't seem to get it right...
ConCussed
If you have yet to see this fairly horrifying video of California'sJahvid Best going airborne for a touchdown against Oregon State, and landing on his head, it is not for the faint of heart.
Later, it was revealed that Best had missed two days of practice during the week because of a slight concussion suffered in the win at Arizona State.
While I am glad that it appears Best will be fine, what I want to know is where are all of the alleged experts who were ready to crucify Urban Meyer if Tim Tebow had emerged from the LSU game with anything more than a hangnail?
Why aren't they upset about this?
Irish Bad. Wolverines Worse
Way back in September, after Michigan's exciting win over Notre Dame, many of the alleged experts wanted us to believe that both of these traditional powers had returned to their rightful place of national prominence.
CBSSports.com's Gregg Doyel drooled, "...for close to four hours Saturday, Notre Dame and Michigan mattered again. And you might want to get used to it. Because they're back."
I thought they were wrong at the time, and I said so.
I'm wondering how they feel now.
Saturday, Notre Dame lost at home to Navy to fall to 6-3, and has games remaining at #12 Pittsburgh, against Connecticut, and at Stanford. And that Stanford game is looking tougher and tougher.
Michigan just lost at home to Purdue to fall to 5-5, and they're in the midst of a three game losing streak. They finish at #20 Wisconsin, and at home against #11 Ohio State.
Both coaches may be on the hot seat. And, in the case of Charlie Weis, that's a big seat.
Temple Strikes Gold(en)
Despite the incredibly stupid piece of propaganda included here, Temple coach Al Golden has to be a unanimous choice for Coach of the Year, doesn't he?
In the three years before Golden arrived in Philly, the Owls were 3-31.
Now, at 7-2, they are bowl-eligible for the first time since 1990. They haven't actually been to a bowl since 1979, when they beat California in the Garden State Bowl to finish 10-2.
If they win out, they will be the champions of the East Division of the MAC, and earn a berth in the league championship game.
Their last three games: at Akron, Kent State, at Ohio.
The problem: they average 16,646 fans at their home games. Bowl games aren't terribly inclined to invite a team that's going to leave a bunch of seats empty.
Okay, I Was Possibly Not Correct
I would like to apologize to anyone who read some of the things I've written and, from that, gotten the impression that I thought Penn State was a good team. I had that impression, but I was possibly... not correct.
Penn State is 8-2, but they have beaten a grand total of three teams that have winning records. Two of those teams were Temple and Eastern Illinois.
Given two chances to prove they can compete with the pack leaders in the Big Ten, they choked horribly. And both of those occasions were at home.
First, they were manhandled by Iowa in a 21-10 loss that wasn't as close as the score might indicate. Then came Saturday's 24-7 bludgeoning by an Ohio State team that has looked remarkably average until now.
There's always a temptation to think that Joe Pa is going to field a quality team, but, while this year's Nittany Lions will finish with a decent won-loss record, it's mostly because they've played a weak schedule.
I was a professional sportswriter for a while. I swear. Then I discovered that I hate professional sportswriters. So now I do this just to bug them. And you.
If you like it, share it. If you don't, you obviously have poor taste. Haha! Just kidding. Sort of.
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