Upon Further Review (Week 5)

Illegal Procedure Exclusive Photo: The Zooker Does It Again

This was a familiar sight to Florida fans from 2002 to the middle of 2004.  Since then, it has become a familiar sight to Illinois fans.  In this photo - an Illegal Procedure exclusive - the rest of you get to know Ron Zook as Florida and Illinois fans know him.  He has spent years trying - and failing - to  coach his way out of a paper bag.

Let's look at the latest example from this past Saturday.

Ohio State paid a visit to Champaign, and the Illini struggled mightily to keep the game close.  Trailing 17-10 in the middle of the 4th quarter, the Illini pieced together a drive that left them at the Buckeyes' 13 yard line with under five minutes to play.  Illinois had burned a time out on defense during Ohio State's previous possession, so they had two left.  It's 4th and 7.

If you have a normal, functioning brain, you would think to yourself, Ohio State chewed up almost 8 minutes on their last possession - which led to a field goal.  Even though I have two time outs, I may not get the ball back.  I need to go for it on 4th down.  I need a touchdown here.  A field goal does me no good.  Even if the field goal is good, I still need a touchdown to win.

But Ron Zook, apparently, does not have a normal, functioning brain.  He decided to kick a field goal to make it 17-13.  Ron, think about this, after that field goal you kicked, you still needed a touchdown.  Why not go for it on 4th down?  Did you really think you could get a field goal and a touchdown on your last two possessions if, indeed you actually got another possession?  And despite the fact that you had managed 10 points in the previous 55 minutes of the game, you thought you were going to score another 10 in the last 5 minutes?

Thankfully for fans of the Zooker, he was saved from Bonehead of the Week status by the actions of Legendary Bonehead Les Miles...

Bonehead of the Week

How many times can Les Miles reach into his bag of lucky tricks and pull out a win?  Seriously.  Saturday's last second tragically comic ending in the game against Tennessee would probably earn him Bonehead of the Year honors, if we had such a thing.

Trailing 14-10, LSU miraculously drove 69 yards for the winning score, along the way converting a 4th and 14 that should have been a 4th and 9, except for poor clock management that caused a delay of game penalty.  Slow play-calling and substitution had caused LSU to burn the last of their timeouts just a moment before.  But the preposterously stupid part came at the very end.

With a 2nd and goal at the Tennessee 2 yard line, and time running out, Tiger quarterback Jordan Jefferson scrambled for a yard to the Volunteer 1.  With the clock running down to single digits, LSU, inexplicably, decided to change personnel before running the next play.  There was no way it was going to work, and, in fact, it didn't.  LSU center T Bob Hebert, seeing the clock ticking down near zero, snapped the ball before Jefferson was expecting it.  The snap went behind him, and all Jefferson could do was run and fall on it. 

Game over.

Except it wasn't.

The only thing more unbelievable than LSU changing personnel with the clock inside of 10 seconds and running was the fact that Tennessee tried to substitute to match LSU's line up.  As LSU snapped the ball on what should have been the last, hopeless play of the game, Tennessee had 13 men on the field. 

Penalty.  Illegal participation.

LSU was allowed to repeat the last play, with no time on the clock, and the result of that play was a Stevan Ridley 1 yard run for the winning score. Final: LSU 16 - Tennessee 14.

What would possibly make anyone think that situation substitution would be a good idea with 9 seconds on the clock and no time outs?

Amazingly, Les Miles thought so.  And got away with it. 

But he is still the Bonehead of the Week.

Addazio Calling Plays for the Wrong QB

I am still ready and willing to say that Alabama is the best team in the country right now, so let's make no mistake about that. But if you look back at Saturday's win over Florida, it wasn't the colossal beatdown that most of the alleged experts would lead you to believe.

First of all, Florida has been a slow-starting team all year, and Alabama is certainly good enough to take advantage of that. The Gators outgained the Tide by a 2 to 1 margin in the second half. Sure, by then, Alabama had a comfortable lead, but, if you're going to tell me that Nick Saban called off the dogs early then you don't know much about Nick Saban.

Secondly - and I know there isn't much sense in using your imagination to retroactively remove certain plays from a game, but let's think about this - if Florida manages to score touchdowns both times they moved the ball inside the Alabama two yard line and came away empty, and, if they don't throw the pick 6 in the 3rd quarter, then you're looking at a 24-20 game. Still a Florida loss, but not exactly a behind the woodshed whipping.

Thirdly, the Gator defense is good enough to keep them in a game with anybody. When the Florida coaching staff finally realizes that what they have is a drop-back passing quarterback and not a spread option quarterback, and begins calling plays accordingly, they will become significantly more effective.

Florida offensive coordinator Steve Addazio has shown absolutely no ability to establish a tempo or rhythm with his playcalling, and help his new starting quarterback get into the flow of a game. He calls plays as if he has written them on little cut up strips of paper that he then pulls out of a hat during the game.

That little inside hand-off dive play that he likes so much...? Never going to work when there is no credible threat that the quarterback might actually pull that ball out and run around the end with it. Especially if the offensive line is having trouble moving anybody off the line of scrimmage (by the way, Addazio is also the offensive line coach).  Having John Brantley run the option sweep to the short side of the field, deep in your own end of the field on second and ten? You must be joking.

Here is my suggestion: immediately remove from the game plan any play that involves John Brantley carrying the ball by design. With all due respect to Brantley, that is not his forte. Opposing defenses pray for that kind of wasted effort, and that kind of opportunity. Why take a chance on getting your most experienced and potentially most-effective quarterback hurt?

During the telecast of Saturday's game, CBS commentator Gary Danielson said it best, "They're calling plays for the wrong quarterback."

I'll go a little further.  The playcalling stinks and the offensive line has under-performed. Both of those areas are the direct responsibility of Steve Addazio. I don't care if he ran the ship during Urban Meyer's leave of absence. I don't care if he has stood in for the Pope himself. Florida's two biggest weaknesses right now are his responsibility.

Upon Further Review (Week 3)

I know, I know.  I just posted my Week 2 Review and Week 3 is already gone.  Sue me.  Or, better yet, pay me the big bucks to write these things and they'll always be on time.  Or, almost always.

Don't Forget. I Was Right

It is the solemn duty of every alleged sports writer to remind his faithful readers every time his predictions come true, and to never again mention the predictions that backfire.  Since I believe in solemn duties, I am choosing now to remind you that, when I discussed (here) the fact that the alleged Notre Dame Mystique no longer exists, I challenged readers to try to convince me that Notre Dame would start the season off with anything better than a 3-3 record.

Well, the Fleeing Irish are now 1-2, and the next three weeks have them playing #16 Stanford and then at Boston College, followed by a home game against Pittsburgh.  You do the math. 

Just remember I told you so...

Baby Gators

Since I have a strong University of Florida heritage, you'll get a moderate dose of Gator news here.  Hey, if you don't like it, find a Seminole blog somehwere.  Surely, there are at least one or two of them that know how to spell.

Anyway...

As if any of you need another reason to worry, here is something that should scare everyone but Gator fans. 

As I pointed out here, the Gators played more freshman in their first game than any other team in the country.

Here is some complicated math courtesy of the Gainesville Sun following the Tennessee game:

Of the 70 players who made the trip to Knoxville 43 are underclassmen, 21 were on their first road trip and 19 played in their first road game.

The Knoxville News-Sentinel did the math this way: 41% of the players standing on the Florida sideline in Neyland Stadium were either freshman or redshirt freshman.

Note to the rest of the nation:  this Gator team may struggle to get victories this season, but they'll get a bunch.  Next year, watch out.

Conference Call

You'd pretty much have to be an idiot to think that there is a better college football conference in the land than the SEC. There is just too much evidence - objective, subjective and circumstantial.

ESPN.com's Ivan Maisel recently wrote a little more about that subject here.  But there is a subtle nuance that often goes unmentioned, although I'm sure the athletic director at every SEC school knows all about it.  Maisel points out that there are seven SEC football stadiums with a capacity of over 80,000 (no other conference has more than four stadiums that big), and those stadiums are filled to an average of 98% of capacity on game days.  Think of all those seats, all those fans, paying for tickets.

When you combine that with fanatical booster support, merchandise and licensing income, TV revenues, and the payouts the league has collected from having put teams in BCS bowl games eighteen times since 1999, what that means is, in addition to speed, skill and talent, SEC teams have lots of money for nice things.  Nice things attract new recruits.  And new fans.  And new TV contracts.  And on-the-field success.  And more national championships.  And, thus, the cycle repeats itself.


Instant Chuckle:

Upon Further Review (Week 1)

Bronco Bandwagon

I have told you this before, but, in case you forgot, I'm officially on the wagon.  That's right.  The Boise State bandwagon. 

If you're one of those casual fans that vaguely remembers the Boise State win over Oklahoma in the 2007 Fiesta Bowl, you probably think the Broncos are just a collection of gimmicks and trickery.  Well, think again.

[At this point, I am inserting the obligatory photo that includes Erin Andrews because, well, why wouldn't we want to include Erin Andrews?]

Anyway...

One game into their fifth season under head coach Chris Petersen, the Broncos have compiled a 50-4 record, including unbeaten seasons in 2006 and last year.  That's not trickery.  That's absolutely amazing.

Speaking of amazing, I was trying to resist the temptation to include this photo of a couple of Boise State cheerleaders, and then I thought, why resist?

Monday's victory over Virginia Tech was no fluke.  Boise State dominated early, weathered a furious rally by a very talented Hokie squad, and, at a time when a lesser team might have folded under the pressure, scored the winning touchdown on their last possession.

All of this, mind you, was in front of a very pro-Hokie crowd at the ostensibly neutral site in Landover, Maryland. 

This Boise State team could play with anybody in the country.  And we'd better get used to the idea.  They don't win with smoke and mirrors.  They win with talent and guts.


I'm not convinced that I can watch too many games on the Smurf Turf without damaging my eyesight. But I'll be watching anyway. These Broncos have definitely gotten my attention.

Random Stat:  Virginia Tech is now 0-22 in games away from home against top 5 teams.

Week 1 Surprises

This past Saturday brought us some interesting results. 

Oklahoma managed to beat Utah State, but only by a mere seven points.  Florida beat Miami of Ohio 34-12, but couldn't consistently get the shotgun snap into the hands of the quarterback. USC beat Hawaii, but saw their defense get shredded in a 49-36 shootout.

But there were two games that were particularly shocking: the Jacksonville State Gamecocks 49-48 upset of Mississippi,and the North Dakota State Bison's 6-3 win at Kansas.

Everything I have ever heard or read about Turner Gill tells me that he is a good guy. At Buffalo in 2006, he took over coaching a team that had gone 5-41 in its four previous seasons.  In his first three years, he went 2-10, 5-7 and then 8-6 in 2008, including an upset of previously unbeaten Ball State in the MAC Championship game.  That's about as good as you'll ever get at Buffalo, so it wasn't surprising when Kansas came calling last year after Mark Mangino was forced to resign amidst allegations that he verbally and physically abused some of his players. 

But it's clear that Gill has his hands full with the rebuilding job in Lawrence. 

The Kids Are Alright

Chris Low, the SEC beat writer for ESPN.com, pointed out some conference schools played lots of youngsters on Saturday.  But Florida, as it turns out, played more freshman (15, to be exact) than any other school in the country.  There is lots of talent in that locker room, but with so much youth on the field, the Gators may look a bit rough around the edges at times.

Things I Will Miss

Oh wow.  It's August... whatever the heck the date is... and, you know what that means!  It's time to get Illegal Procedure wound up to full speed.  Or at least take it out of neutral...

There are plenty of boring sites, mostly full of speculative garbage, that help you follow recruiting or spring practice or the NFL draft.  I don't do any of that.  Mostly, during the off-season, I drink beer.  Then, once college football gets started, I drink more beer!  Only I watch college football at the same time. 

It's a remarkable system.  I highly recommend it.

At the beginning of the season, I don't like to spend much time looking back.  Last year is done and gone.  But I don't like to look too far forward either.  Should we really be talking about the favorites for the Heisman right now?  It's August... whatever the heck the date is... for God's sake. 

So I'm going to kind of look back and look ahead at the same time, and talk about things I will miss in this sure-to-be-terrific 2010 college football season...

Tim Tebow
Come on.  You know you're going to miss him.  He was the poster child for college football for the last three years.  He is still the center of attention in the NFL despite the fact that he has yet to play a meaningful down for the Denver Broncos.  He was a Heisman Trophy winner, a conference champion (twice) a national champion (twice), and a class act. 

And he may have had the most publicized concussion in the history of mankind.

Even those who claimed to hate him secretly wished they could have him as their quarterback.  It's okay, you guys.  You can admit it now.  It's time to fess up.

I thought his career in college football was nothing short of historic (and I said so here).  I hope he wins a couple of Super Bowls to go with the rest of his football credentials.

Just for kicks, I did a Google search for his name and came up with 2,030,000 results.  Good Lord. 

Speaking of the Lord...

The Notre Dame Mystique
If, indeed, there ever was a Notre Dame mystique, now that it is 2010 and the Irish have been  mediocre for more than two decades, can we all agree that the mystique is gone?  Vanished?  Kaput?

As if we didn't have enough proof on the football field, Touchdown Jesus was struck by lightning in June, and subsequently burned to the ground. Granted, it was a Touchdown Jesus in Monroe, Ohio, and not the one that has blessed Irish victories over the years, but that can't be a good omen, can it?

Notre Dame's Touchdown Jesus is still standing, but that's the only thing in South Bend about which that can be said.

I'd like to quote from a little piece I wrote last November called, When Irish Eyes Aren't Smiling (you can find it here):

Think about this for a minute. If you are an eighteen year old senior in high school now, and you probably didn't really start consciously watching college games on television until you were twelve or thirteen, that means your first meaningful memories of Notre Dame football were seeing them suffer through seasons of 5-7 (2003) and 6-6 (2004), and then watching them fire their second coach in four years.

Since I wrote that, they finished last season with a 6-6 record, fired Charlie Weis, and hired a good old Irishman named Brian Kelly.  Notre Dame fans apparently expect Kelly to immediately improve their offense, and then produce a defense out of thin air.  Good luck. 

When was the last time anybody besides Beano Cook seriously considered the Irish to be a contender for the national championship?  Beano has more chins than the Irish had victories last season.  And we're still waiting for Ron Powlus to claim one of the three Heisman's he was supposed to win.

Here's an interesting statistic I stole from somewhere:  Utah has more unbeaten seasons in the last six years (two) than Notre Dame has in the last thirty.  That's particularly relevant because the Utes visit South Bend on November 13.

As an aside, and just for the record, nobody should ever mention the Utes without also allowing you to view this classic scene from My Cousin Vinny:



Anyway...

Look at Notre Dame's first 6 games this year- Purdue, Michigan, at Michigan State, Stanford, at Boston College, and Pittsburgh.  Now try to convince me they're going to be better than 3-3 coming out of that stretch. 

The game in Baltimore against Navy is no gimme (haven't the Middies taken 2 of the last 3 from the Irish?).  In addition to the aforementioned game with Utah, there is the season finale at USC.  If, with a bit of help from above, they manage a 4-2 start, Notre Dame will still have at least three tough games remaining on their schedule.  And, with two losses more than likely before they even get past the second week of October, they will revert to being what they have been for the last twenty years - an afterthought.

Wave good-bye.  The Notre Dame Mystique.  Gone.

Bobby Bowden
As a Gator fan, there were few people that I despised over the years as much as Bobby Bowden.  In retrospect, I think that was a bit unfair.  I often thought he was a lax disciplinarian.  I thought he tolerated a defense that stretched the limits of the rules of sportsmanship in an effort to intimidate.  And I thought his whole "dadgummit" personality was mostly just an act to curry favor with the media.

I think I was at least partly right, but, at the same time, let's face it; I despised him because the Seminoles inflicted some serious pain on Florida under his direction.  Although the Gators still have a substantial lead in the overall series (33-19-2), the most telling statistic is the record during the Spurrier years, which many consider the beginning of the golden era of the Gator Nation.  While Steve Spurrier went 117-19 against everybody else in college football from 1990 to 2001, his record against Florida State was a frustrating 5-8-1.

But even that didn't keep me from feeling sympathy for Bowden when certain Seminoles decided to run him off campus at the end of last season.

In my view, he had earned the right to coach as long as he wanted to.  The way he was tossed aside made me a little nauseous.

Once again, I'd like to quote from a piece I wrote in October last year called Stand Still Bobby While I Get That Knife Out of Your Back (you can find it here).

Bobby Bowden gave you a football program that was worth watching, when you actually bothered to show up, and now you want to unceremoniously shove him out the door. Unbelievable.

You were willing to sit back and gloat during the decade and a half that your Seminoles dominated college football like no other team ever has. Let Bowden enjoy the twilight of his coaching career as much as you enjoyed its prime.

 But, the idiots in charge sent him packing, and I have to say I will miss seeing him on the sidelines this year.  The good news is - now I can go back to hating Florida State without reservation.

Rational Numbers
To mathematicians, a rational number is any number that can be expressed as the quotient a/b of two integers, with the denominator b not equal to zero.  I was never good at math, and I am only somewhat good at being rational.  But will someone please drive directly to the conference offices of the Big 10 and the Big
12 and ask them what the heck they think they're doing?

As it was, the rest of the nation collectively giggled for a few years when Penn State joined the Big 10 in 1993, thus making it an 11 team league.  But we kind of got used to it.  And I suppose you have to give them credit for coming up with the clever logo that had an "11" conveniently embedded in it.

Then came the off-season shuffling this year that saw Nebraska leave the Big 12 to join the Big 10, and Colorado leave the Big 12 to join the Pac 10.  None of this will take effect until after this season ends, but what you will end up with is a Big 10 that has 12 teams, and a Big 12 that has 10 teams. 

But both conferences are keeping their old names.  So much for rational numbers.

Yes, I know.  It sounds like something from a Woody Allen movie.  And I would probably laugh if it wasn't so... dumb.  Seriously.

While all this was going on, the Pac 10 also lured Utah away from the Mountain West.  But at least the Pac 10 is planning to change their name to the Pac 12. 

Note to self:  if ever I am the founder of a college athletic conference, don't put a number in the name.

Shameless Self-Promotion:
If you enjoy this blog, share it with friends.  Heck, you can share it with enemies if you want.  Comments are always appreciated.  You can leave comments here on the blog.  You can e-mail me at illegalprocedureblog@gmail.com.  Or you can send me messages by carrier pigeon if you happen to have a bird trained to follow the scent of Stella Artois or Conundrum.

I'm ready for some college football!!

One last thing.  I'd like to introduce a new feature that I will use at random when it pleases me.  It is nothing more than a handy wave file designed to make you smile.  I call it...

Instant Chuckle:

With No Tebow, What Will Gators Do on Third and Two?

Here’s a question for you. Can you name Florida’s fullback last year? Go ahead, think for a minute. I’ll wait.

Give up?

It was Tim Tebow, of course. I know, I know, technically, he was the quarterback. But, when Florida needed to pick up the tough yards inside, that’s who carried the ball. And not just last season, but, really, for the last four. As the saying goes, it has been like a Fargo winter; you knew what was coming, and that information did you no good whatsoever.

Even when everybody knew what to expect, it was almost always successful. The only notable exception was Florida’s last possession in the 2008 home loss to Mississippi when Tebow was unable to convert a fourth and one. But the disappointment of that game prompted “The Promise ,” and Florida plowed through their remaining opponents on the way to a second national championship in three years. So, even that worked out pretty well.

For those expecting to witness the demise of the Gators in the post-Tebow era, I have bad news for you. This year’s offense should be more diversified and less predictable. A solid nucleus returns on the offensive line. The backfield is fast and deep. There are a handful of young but gifted receivers. And redshirt junior quarterback John Brantley has a strong, accurate arm. Big plays could become routine. But here is the one unanswered question: With no Tebow, what will the Gators do on third and two?

Florida enters the fall with two fullbacks on the roster, neither of whom has ever touched the ball in a college game. The biggest of the returning running backs is Emmanuel Moody . When given the opportunity, he has shown himself to be capable, but has missed six games with injuries in two seasons since transferring from USC. At 5'11" and 212 pounds, he is reasonably sturdy, but won’t exactly cause nightmares for SEC defenders.

While he isn’t the brute force that Tebow was, Brantley, at 6'3", 218 pounds, is more of an athlete than most people realize. But Florida’s coaches won’t be eager to have him risk injury carrying the ball. Behind him on the depth chart there are only freshman.

During spring drills, without making a big deal of it, the Gators experimented with having quarterback-turned-tight end Jordan Reed run plays out of the shotgun. Reed is listed at 6'3", 240 pounds. Think back, for a moment, to the 2006 season, when a young bruiser named Tim Tebow frequently relieved Chris Leak in short yardage situations.

Perhaps Florida’s "fullback" this year will be a redshirt freshman tight end named Jordan Reed.

By the way, Florida did have a fullback last year, a senior named Rick Burgess. And he did touch the ball. Once. He returned a squib kickoff for eight yards against Mississippi State.