Upon Further Review (Week 5)

Illegal Procedure Exclusive Photo: The Zooker Does It Again

This was a familiar sight to Florida fans from 2002 to the middle of 2004.  Since then, it has become a familiar sight to Illinois fans.  In this photo - an Illegal Procedure exclusive - the rest of you get to know Ron Zook as Florida and Illinois fans know him.  He has spent years trying - and failing - to  coach his way out of a paper bag.

Let's look at the latest example from this past Saturday.

Ohio State paid a visit to Champaign, and the Illini struggled mightily to keep the game close.  Trailing 17-10 in the middle of the 4th quarter, the Illini pieced together a drive that left them at the Buckeyes' 13 yard line with under five minutes to play.  Illinois had burned a time out on defense during Ohio State's previous possession, so they had two left.  It's 4th and 7.

If you have a normal, functioning brain, you would think to yourself, Ohio State chewed up almost 8 minutes on their last possession - which led to a field goal.  Even though I have two time outs, I may not get the ball back.  I need to go for it on 4th down.  I need a touchdown here.  A field goal does me no good.  Even if the field goal is good, I still need a touchdown to win.

But Ron Zook, apparently, does not have a normal, functioning brain.  He decided to kick a field goal to make it 17-13.  Ron, think about this, after that field goal you kicked, you still needed a touchdown.  Why not go for it on 4th down?  Did you really think you could get a field goal and a touchdown on your last two possessions if, indeed you actually got another possession?  And despite the fact that you had managed 10 points in the previous 55 minutes of the game, you thought you were going to score another 10 in the last 5 minutes?

Thankfully for fans of the Zooker, he was saved from Bonehead of the Week status by the actions of Legendary Bonehead Les Miles...

Bonehead of the Week

How many times can Les Miles reach into his bag of lucky tricks and pull out a win?  Seriously.  Saturday's last second tragically comic ending in the game against Tennessee would probably earn him Bonehead of the Year honors, if we had such a thing.

Trailing 14-10, LSU miraculously drove 69 yards for the winning score, along the way converting a 4th and 14 that should have been a 4th and 9, except for poor clock management that caused a delay of game penalty.  Slow play-calling and substitution had caused LSU to burn the last of their timeouts just a moment before.  But the preposterously stupid part came at the very end.

With a 2nd and goal at the Tennessee 2 yard line, and time running out, Tiger quarterback Jordan Jefferson scrambled for a yard to the Volunteer 1.  With the clock running down to single digits, LSU, inexplicably, decided to change personnel before running the next play.  There was no way it was going to work, and, in fact, it didn't.  LSU center T Bob Hebert, seeing the clock ticking down near zero, snapped the ball before Jefferson was expecting it.  The snap went behind him, and all Jefferson could do was run and fall on it. 

Game over.

Except it wasn't.

The only thing more unbelievable than LSU changing personnel with the clock inside of 10 seconds and running was the fact that Tennessee tried to substitute to match LSU's line up.  As LSU snapped the ball on what should have been the last, hopeless play of the game, Tennessee had 13 men on the field. 

Penalty.  Illegal participation.

LSU was allowed to repeat the last play, with no time on the clock, and the result of that play was a Stevan Ridley 1 yard run for the winning score. Final: LSU 16 - Tennessee 14.

What would possibly make anyone think that situation substitution would be a good idea with 9 seconds on the clock and no time outs?

Amazingly, Les Miles thought so.  And got away with it. 

But he is still the Bonehead of the Week.

Addazio Calling Plays for the Wrong QB

I am still ready and willing to say that Alabama is the best team in the country right now, so let's make no mistake about that. But if you look back at Saturday's win over Florida, it wasn't the colossal beatdown that most of the alleged experts would lead you to believe.

First of all, Florida has been a slow-starting team all year, and Alabama is certainly good enough to take advantage of that. The Gators outgained the Tide by a 2 to 1 margin in the second half. Sure, by then, Alabama had a comfortable lead, but, if you're going to tell me that Nick Saban called off the dogs early then you don't know much about Nick Saban.

Secondly - and I know there isn't much sense in using your imagination to retroactively remove certain plays from a game, but let's think about this - if Florida manages to score touchdowns both times they moved the ball inside the Alabama two yard line and came away empty, and, if they don't throw the pick 6 in the 3rd quarter, then you're looking at a 24-20 game. Still a Florida loss, but not exactly a behind the woodshed whipping.

Thirdly, the Gator defense is good enough to keep them in a game with anybody. When the Florida coaching staff finally realizes that what they have is a drop-back passing quarterback and not a spread option quarterback, and begins calling plays accordingly, they will become significantly more effective.

Florida offensive coordinator Steve Addazio has shown absolutely no ability to establish a tempo or rhythm with his playcalling, and help his new starting quarterback get into the flow of a game. He calls plays as if he has written them on little cut up strips of paper that he then pulls out of a hat during the game.

That little inside hand-off dive play that he likes so much...? Never going to work when there is no credible threat that the quarterback might actually pull that ball out and run around the end with it. Especially if the offensive line is having trouble moving anybody off the line of scrimmage (by the way, Addazio is also the offensive line coach).  Having John Brantley run the option sweep to the short side of the field, deep in your own end of the field on second and ten? You must be joking.

Here is my suggestion: immediately remove from the game plan any play that involves John Brantley carrying the ball by design. With all due respect to Brantley, that is not his forte. Opposing defenses pray for that kind of wasted effort, and that kind of opportunity. Why take a chance on getting your most experienced and potentially most-effective quarterback hurt?

During the telecast of Saturday's game, CBS commentator Gary Danielson said it best, "They're calling plays for the wrong quarterback."

I'll go a little further.  The playcalling stinks and the offensive line has under-performed. Both of those areas are the direct responsibility of Steve Addazio. I don't care if he ran the ship during Urban Meyer's leave of absence. I don't care if he has stood in for the Pope himself. Florida's two biggest weaknesses right now are his responsibility.

Upon Further Further Review (Bowls - Part II)

More Than Just Turf to Repair

Someone should be fired. Somewhere, there is an idiot, or group of idiots, responsible for the field conditions at the Citrus Bowl in Orlando.

I don't know much about planting things or growing things. I've had fake office plants shrivel up and die on me. But I'm reasonably certain that I could have kept the Citrus Bowl turf in better condition than it was for the Champs Sports Bowl and the Capital One Bowl.

Nobody should have to play a football game on terrain more suited for trench warfare.

It is not safe for the athletes, and, in this case, I think it may have affected the outcome.  Is it just a coincidence that the slower, plodding teams won both of the games played there?  Would Wisconsin have beaten Miami on a pristine field?  Maybe.  Could Penn State have kept up with LSU?  I doubt it.

After the game, LSU reciever Brandon LaFell said, "That was by far the worst football field I've ever seen in my life."

Now the city of Orlando has more than just turf to repair.  The image of a vacation mecca is certainly damaged too.  At least for fans of the four teams that had to watch the turf peel away in clumps.  This is a city that knows how to do amusement parks, but athletic fields are another matter entirely.

Broncos Bucking the System

After finishing the season unbeaten for the second time since 2006, Boise State now appears ready to muscle their way to the front of the line in college football.  They should start next season in or near the top five in the preseason polls, which gives them a chance to climb higher if teams in front of them stumble.

Here's the scary part, they return 21 starters from this year's squad, including quarterback Kellen Moore, who finished second in the nation in passing efficiency.

They are doing everything they can to bolster their schedule. The perception is that the WAC doesn't offer them enough competition, even though Idaho, Nevada and Fresno State went to bowl games this year.

Boise State opened the 2009 season by dominating eventual PAC 10 champion Oregon, and ended it by defeating unbeaten Mountain West champion TCU.  In 2010, they will play Oregon State at home on the famous Smurf Turf, and Virginia Tech in a (sort of) neutral site game at FedEx Field in Landover, Md.

But, now, the big boys are a bit squeamish about scheduling a game with the Broncos.  They have a reputation for playing with reckless abandon that makes their opponents nervous. 

In the 17-10 win over TCU, the key play was an amazing fake punt that Boise State ran on a 4th and 9 from their own 33 yard line.  The play gained 30 yeards.  Gutsy?  Absolutely.  Typical of Bronco football?  Without a doubt.

Boise State's win over Oklahoma in the 2007 Fiesta Bowl has rapidly become the Woodstock of college football.  If as many people actually saw it as are now claiming to have seen it, the broadcast would have had about a 50 rating.

The Three Plays That Shocked the World - the Hook and Ladder on 4th and 18 from midfield that went for a touchdown to send it to overtime, the halfback pass for the overtime touchdown, and the Statue of Liberty on the two point conversion that won the game  - captured the attention of the football-loving world. 

Boise State coach Chris Petersen says, "I think that's what they expect out of us, and we're happy to deliver."

The drama even had a storybook ending when Ian Johnson, who had just run in the two point conversion for the 43-42 win, then scurried off to find his cheerleader girlfriend to ask her to marry him.

Now that opponents have come to expect the unexpected, they still can't stop it.  As Matt James notes in the Fresno Bee, "Boise State football is now a Fargo winter. You know what's coming, and that information does you no good whatsoever."

Just ask TCU coach Gary Patterson, who admitted that his team had worked on stopping the fake punt in practice, but failed to do so with the game on the line, "The fake punt was a great call," he said.  "They outcoached us on that play."

Bronco kicker Kyle Brotzman, who threw the pass on the play, had a simpler explanation.  "That's Boise State football," he said.

Next season is likely to bring increased media scrutiny for the Broncos, and more pressure.  But, after going 14-0 this year, and 49-4 since 2006, they might be ready to assume a position among the college football elite.  One thing is certain, if the next BCS game they play in is the championship game, expect the unexpected.

Upon Further Review (Week 12)

When Irish Eyes Aren't Smiling
 
Nothing is going well at Notre Dame these days.  There is even a rumor that a group on a religious pilgrimage to South Bend saw teardrops falling from the eyes of Touchdown Jesus.

Things are so bad that quarterback Jimmy Clausen was sucker-punched by an angry fan in a local restaurant on Sunday. 

A Notre Dame fan. 

The latest word is that the shiner he sustained won't keep him from playing at Stanford on Saturday, where he and his teammates are likely to get more of the same.

But, if the alleged experts are correct, it appears the Charlie Weis era is coming to an end.

The Notre Dame faithful seem to feel they have a divine right to a superior football team, but they keep picking the wrong guy to lead the reformation.  Since 1996, when Lou Holtz departed after eleven seasons with a 100-30-2 record, his three successors have combined to go 91-65.

Under Weis, the Irish are 1-11 against ranked teams, and currently 35-26 overall, which means not only do they fail to win the big games, but they sometimes struggle to win the little ones. 

Something has to change.  And soon.

The alleged experts tell us that Notre Dame's reputation alone will always provide a strong pull for recruiting, but I'm not sure that's true.

Think about this for a minute.  If you are an eighteen year old senior in high school now, and you probably didn't really start consciously watching college games on television until you were twelve or thirteen, that means your first meaningful memories of Notre Dame football were seeing them suffer through seasons of 5-7 (2003) and 6-6 (2004), and then watching them fire their second coach in four years.

Meanwhile, USC, Florida, Alabama, LSU, and Texas have been racking up wins and owning the airwaves.

Weis may or may not have been the wrong guy for the job, but Notre Dame has really been led down the wrong path by the people above him.

Meddling from the university president and its board of trustees has made the job of athletic director at Notre Dame a difficult one. When Tyrone Willingham was fired after just three seasons, it was against the wishes of then athletic director Kevin White. It is interesting to note that he was the first Irish coach in 47 years to be fired before his initial contract had expired. 


From 1914 to 1987, Notre Dame had a total of six athletic directors. When Jack Swarbrick was hired last year to take over for White, he became the fourth AD since '87. If you count George O'Leary, who was fired just five days after his hiring, when it was discovered he had taken some creative liberties with his resume, Weis is the fourth football coach hired since Holtz left.

Something's clearly not right.

Cutting Weis loose will be expensive - the buyout on his contract is rumored to be as much as $18 million - but the cost isn't purely financial. Notre Dame's reputation has suffered along the way, and continues to suffer. It's not the dream job it used to be. Already, Florida's Urban Meyer, once thought to be a prime candidate, very quickly, and very publicly, removed his name from any further speculation.

Several other names have been tossed around, and it will be interesting to see what happens, but, however it turns out, Notre Dame fans had better hope that the next guy is one that can make them happy for a long time, because, right now, Irish eyes aren't smiling.

The Bone Head Call of the Week

I've thought for a while that LSU coach Les Miles was a dunderhead, and I have said so.  Saturday, he went out of his way to prove it.

If you didn't see the loss to Mississippi, you missed some of the most inexplicable clock management ever committed by an alleged coach.  It was so mind-bogglingly dumb, that it's hard to even explain.

With 1:17 remaining, LSU scored a touchdown to make it 25-23.  The two point conversion failed, but the Tigers recovered the onside kick.

After completing a pass to the Rebel 32 yard line, LSU, almost unbelievably, went backwards 16 yards on the next three plays - an incomplete pass, a sack for a nine yard loss, and a screen pass that lost seven yards.

But here's the really unbelievable part.  Facing a fourth and 26, coach Miles allowed 17 seconds to tick off the clock before somebody somwhere on the LSU sideline realized they hadn't managed to use their last timeout.

There were nine seconds left.

After the timeout, quarterback Jordan Jefferson miraculously completed a pass to Terrance Toliver at the Ole Miss five yard line.  The first down momentarily stopped the clock, but, with no timeouts remaining, the Tigers scrambled to the line of scrimmage hoping to spike the ball and kick a field goal.

There was one second left.

A)  You can't spike the ball with one second left.

B)  If they hadn't allowed the 17 seconds to tick away earlier, there would have been plenty of time to line up, spike the ball, and kick the winning field goal.

At first, Miles said he "thought" they had called a timeout.  Then, he admitted that he "didn't know what to do" after precious seconds had ticked away.

The game ended in pathetic confusion when the ball was whistled ready for play at the Rebel five, and the lonely second ticked away.

If anybody in Baton Rouge is wondering, I'd gladly take $3 million a year to stand on the sidelines looking like a deer in headlights.

I don't look good in purple and gold though...

My Crystal Ball Says...

...that I know what will happen in this week's key games. Always remember that I'm right, and your team sucks.



#25 California at #17 Stanford - Head coach Jim Harbaugh has Stanford playing with attitude.   They are getting a bit obnoxious about it too.  It's kind of like the bratty little middle school kid down the street that starting taking steroids and working out, and showed up in high school ready to kick your ass.  ESPN.com's Ted Miller says their style of play may even be going a bit beyond the rules.  On his Pac 10 blog, he writes, "There are a few more pokes and grabs and punches in the pile-up and scrum at the line of scrimmage than in the past when Stanford suited up."  But nobody seems to care about that if your name isn't Brandon Spikes.  Note to all the alleged experts who spent two weeks villifying Spikes:  check Dictionary.com for the word "hypocrite" and then get back to me.  After scoring a total of 106 points in the last two games, Stanford has become the new favorite topic in the college football world.  The fact that those points came against Oregon and USC makes it particularly intimidating, especially if you're a California team that managed only a field goal against both of those teams.  The Golden Bears will be without running back Jahvid Best who is still out after suffering a concussion two weeks ago on one of the scariest plays of the year.  Shane Vereen has been an adequate replacement for Best, but quarterback Kevin Riley is mistake-prone, and Cal's defense is lousy (71st in total defense).  The Stanford offense has turned into a juggernaut behind Toby Gerhart, the nation's third leading rusher. All of this points to a Stanford win.  And possibly a hefty dose of eye gouging.  Fear the Tree.

#11 Oregon at Arizona - I've watched Arizona play once this year, in last week's loss at California, and I was not impressed.  How this Wildcat squad managed to beat Oregon State and Stanford earlier in the year, I have no idea.  Oregon is 6th in the nation in rushing offense, and LaMichael James has 100 or more yards rushing in each of the last five games.  But Arizona is a respectable 21st in rushing defense.  Wildcat quarterback Nick Foles has somehow put up some decent numbers, but, to me, he is most notable for his Bonehead Play of the Week back in Week 6,  Both teams are still alive in the Pac 10 race.  Both need to win out.  Arizona plays well at home - their three losses all came in road games - but I think the  Ducks win the game, and also win the competition to see which team has the ugliest uniforms.

#8 LSU at Mississippi - For some reason, Mississippi seems to be a popular pick here.  Even the oddsmakers in Vegas have the Rebels as a 4 point favorite.  I don't get it.  LSU may not be flashy, but they still have great athletes.  Their only losses came at the hands of two of the top three teams in the land.  One thing is certain; they will tackle Dexter McCluster better than Tennesee did.  Speaking of Tennessee, have I mentioned recently that Lane Kiffin is not only a classless loudmouth, he's a lying classless loudmouth?  I did?  Good.  Anyway, let me throw out some amazing statistics for you.  LSU's offense may be rather pedestrian, but their defense has allowed only three rushing touchdowns this year.  That ties them with Florida and Texas for tops in the nation in terms of fewest rushing touchdowns allowed.  And they continue to improve;  they haven’t allowed a touchdown on the ground in their last six games. Also, it should be noted that LSU has prevailed in each of their last four trips to Oxford, which will mean absolutely nothing this Saturday, but it sounds like I know what I'm talking about when I say that.  Or type it.  Mississippi is a team that doesn't play well when saddled with expectations, and everyone seems to expect them to win this one.  I don't.  I think a healthy Jordan Jefferson at quarterback (he missed last week's game against Louisiana Tech with a sprained ankle) can avoid the Rebel pass rush, and I think the Tiger defense will return Jevan Snead to the state of mediocrity he was enjoying before the Tennessee defense rolled over for him.  Speaking of Tennessee, have I mentioned that Lane Kiffin is a lying, classless loudmouth?

Kansas at #3 Texas - Mark Mangino is immense.  What I mean to say is he's immensely proud of the turnaround he has managed at Kansas.  A team that was a perennial doormat in the Big 12 suddenly found itself at 12-1 after the 2007 season, and proud owners of an Orange Bowl victory. And you better believe he is proud, or he will thump you in the chest, and berate you in front of your teammates.  But, after a 5-0 start to this year, the Jayhawks have now lost five in a row, and, suddenly, they stink.  A visit to Austin, Texas is not likely to provide a cure for stinking.  The Longhorns have been, rather quietly, issuing a good old Southwest-style beatdown to everybody they have played.  They continue on the collision course that, in all likelihood, has them meeting the winner of the SEC Championship game for all the marbles.  Everybody knows about Texas QB Colt McCoy and his darling roommate Jordan Shipley.  You probably don't know that Kansas signal caller Todd Reesing has some pretty respectable passing numbers too.  It won't help.  Kansas will continue to stink.  And Texas will continue to issue good old Southwest-style beatdowns.  At least until they play for all the marbles.

Florida International at #1 Florida - The key question in this game is, if you're Urban Meyer, how long do you leave Tim Tebow out there?  You don't want him to spend an entire Saturday on the sidelines getting rusty when you have the Seminoles coming to town next week for a big rivalry game.  But, let's face it, the Gators could probably win this game with me playing quarterback.  Florida fans would like to see future star John Brantley get some work.  Florida International is coming off a big win over the North Texas Mean Green and... Okay, okay.  Forget the hype.  This is likely to be horrible, one-sided game that will be about as interesting as watching paint dry.  One thing I have learned is that, when I need something interesting to say, I find an obscure, but fascinating statistic.  The SEC blog on ESPN.com tells us, "The No. 1 team in the AP poll hasn't lost a November home game to a team with a losing record since 1961. That year, a 2-4-1 TCU team knocked off No. 1 Texas in Austin on Nov. 18."  The FIU Panthers are 3-7, and not likely to add another footnote to the college football history books against the Gators this weekend.

My Crystal Ball Says...

...that I know what will happen in this week's key games. Always remember that I'm right, and your team sucks.


Florida State at Clemson - For last week's Homecoming game against NC State, 13,000 Florida State (4-4) fans showed their loyalty by coming to the game disguised as empty seats - their worst home crowd since 1993 - when, oh, by the way, they won a national championship. I can say it here because it's my blog. They are the worst fans ever. Ever. And it turned out to be an exciting game that illustrated what's wrong with FSU this year. They beat the Wolfpack 45-42, thus showing that they can score points in droves, but have a hard time stopping other teams from scoring. QB Christian Ponder has quietly become the 5th ranked passer in the nation in terms of completions per game. It's been hard to notice when their defense is ranked 109th. Meanwhile, Clemson (5-3) running back CJ Spiller has emerged as a Heisman Trophy candidate by doing everything except filling the Gatorade coolers. So, you might wonder how Florida State can beat Clemson in Death Valley. The answer is simple. They can't.

#16 Ohio State at #11 Penn State - This game is kind of flying under the radar now that each and every one of the three people who still think the Big Ten is a good football league is hot to trot for Iowa - the one team that hasn't lost a game, even though they keep trying. There are rumblings from the fans in Columbus that the coaching staff hasn't used their talent wisely, and hasn't developed the abilities of QB Terrelle Pryor. Despite the fact that Ohio State (7-2) hasn't beaten anybody good, they are still ranked 16th for some unknown reason, and can still win the Big Ten if they beat Penn State (8-1), and win the rest of their games. Uh huh. Right. Penn State is having a normal Joe Paterno kind of year. There is nothing at all flashy about them, but they pile up wins like I pile up laundry in my closet. Daryll Clark is a solid performer at quarterback, and their running game, led by Evan Royster, is productive. Still, I think you can argue that the Nittany Lions haven't beaten anybody good either. Iowa (if you want to say they are good) came to town and dominated every aspect of the game in a 21-10 win that wasn't that close. Paterno, unlike his counterpart at Ohio State, is clearly a coach who uses his talent wisely. I would say that a Penn State win means the Sweatervest Juggernaut stops here, but, in reality, it stopped a while ago.

#8 Oregon at Stanford - This has all the makings of a "trap" game for Oregon (7-1), doesn't it? They're coming off a 27 point thrashing of USC, and they've been on such a roll that it's tough to believe they can keep it going. Stanford, on the other hand, is 4-3, but all three losses have come on the road. And they've had a bye week to prepare. Oregon's option attack with Jeremiah Masoli and LaMichael James is potent. But Stanford has an old-school, physical ground game, and tailback Toby Gerhart is 7th in the nation in rushing. I don't know why, but I'm feeling the upset. Fear the Tree. Or the Cardinal.

#9 LSU at #3 Alabama - In three of the last four years, this game has pretty much decided which team won the SEC West. And these games have been the kind of tension-filled slugfests that make even the calmest of fans chew their fingernails to the bone. Last year, Alabama (8-0) won in overtime in Baton Rouge, 27-21. But LSU (7-1) has won in each of their last four visits to Tuscaloosa. In 2007, LSU scored with a minute and a half left to win 41-34. In 2005, LSU won 16-13 in overtime. The Tigers struggled offensively and defensively early in the year, but are improving on both sides of the ball. Alabama's defense is still a dominating force, but their offense lately has been more about field goals than touchdowns. Opposing teams know they can gang up on tailback Mark Ingram, and dare the Tide to win with QB Greg McElroy's arm. But I think Alabama's strong offensive line will give them an advantage over the LSU front seven, and the Tigers' nearly non-existent pass rush - they are last in the league in sacks - may disappear entirely. If LSU quarterback Jordan Jefferson does a great job getting the ball to his big receivers, this game could be another classic. But I like Nick Saban's chances of guiding Alabama to a home win with defense, field position, a solid ground game, and some efficient passing from McElroy.

Vanderbilt at #1 Florida - Head coach Bobby Johnson has done about as good a job as you can do when you're the football coach at Vanderbilt (2-7). Last year, he took them to a bowl game for the first time since Ronald Reagan was president. And we're talking the first term here. But this year, the Commodores' ship is taking on water. They managed to beat Western Carolina and Rice - two teams who have combined to amass one win this year. All week long, Gator haters and SEC critics everywhere have been making eye-gouging jokes. Funny, huh? Brandon Spikes suspended himself for the second half of this game after his coach suspended him for the first half. You know what? It won't matter. Spikes will still be a first round draft pick, and the Gators (8-0) will gouge the eyes (figuratively speaking) of the Commodores. Florida has won 18 straight against Vanderbilt. If last week's game against Georgia really did wake the Gator offense from its slumber, the rest of the nation should be afraid. Very afraid.