...that I know what will happen in this week's key games. Always remember that I'm right, and your team sucks.
Week 9
Ok, ok, I know. I am lame. I haven't put My Crystal Ball to work in a couple of weeks. First of all, I was a little disturbed when my picks - based on decades of watching and writing about college football - were outdone by the tossing of a coin. Secondly, I've been getting my ass kicked lately by life in general, and work in particular. If any of you can hook me up with a sponsor that has deeper pockets than my current one, I will gladly abandon my regular working life and dedicate myself to My Crystal Ball full time, provided I can still afford cheap beer and expensive champagne.
This week, I'm going to kick the quarter's ass.
#2 Oregon at USC - This is a popular upset pick this week. NCAA sanctions will prevent USC from playing in a bowl game, and, apparently, they are treating this game like the Big Game. So, for some reason, the alleged experts think the Trojans can pull this off. At first glimpse, it appears that Oregon has a clear advantage. They are unbeaten (7-0). Their offense has been running like a sports car, smooth and fast, and their defense has been surprisingly tough. But, even though USC is 5-2, the losses have been by a combined total of three points, both on last second field goals. The Trojan defense has struggled, but should play well at home in a game like this. I hate USC. They cheated, got caught, and are now mad about it. Hey, choices have consequences. It's called life. Deal with it. And if you think Reggie Bush was the only player getting paid to play, contact me immediately; I have some oceanfront property in Kansas that I will sell you cheap. But at least they made things better after Pete Carroll abandoned the floundering ship by hiring Lane Kiffin, who has habitually thumbed his nose at the NCAA, and everybody else for that matter. This despite the fact that his career record as a head coach is currently 17-23. I've said it before, and I'll say it again; if anybody wants to pay me $3 million a year to be an idiot, I will gladly sign your contract. And I promise to give you the most idiot your money can buy. I would love to see an upset here, partly because I just like upsets (except when they happen to my team), and partly because I want Boise State to get a spot in the BCS Championship game. But I think the Ducks have too much depth, and will pull away late. And Lane Kiffin will be 17-24. *chuckles*
Quarter says: Oregon
#5 Michigan State at #18 Iowa - It's hard to appreciate the style of football they play in a league that still isn't sure how many members it has. I finally understand why they have so many noon kickoffs in the Big Ten Plus One Soon to be Twelve - who could stay awake late at night watching this stuff? Iowa is starting to remind me of Wisconsin - you can always count on them for a key conference win and a key conference loss. It must be painfully tantalizing for their fans. No wonder they whine so much. Iowa (5-2) is coming off a close home loss to Wisconsin, but they are solid, if not spectacular, on both sides of the ball. Michigan State comes into this game unbeaten (8-0) and under pressure. They've beaten some teams that are decent, at least on paper, but their most notable accomplishment so far seems to be beating Notre Dame on a trick play that was so exciting the coach who called it subsequently had a heart attack. I'm happy that Mark Dantonio has recovered, and has returned to the sidelines. But I'm hoping that Saturday's game doesn't send him back to the emergency room. Michigan State has lost six straight at Iowa, dating back to 1991. The Hawkeyes will see that the streak runs to seven.
Quarter says: Michigan State
#1 Auburn at Mississippi - This is another popular upset pick among the alleged experts. Rebel coach Houston Nutt does have a pretty remarkable record in upset victories - knocking off #1 teams on the road in 2008 (Florida) and 2007 (LSU), and beating #2 Auburn in 2006 (while the head coach at Arkansas). But Mississippi (3-4) has never beaten Auburn (8-0) when the Tigers are ranked (0-13). And Cam Newton has started to look like a man among boys. Right now, it's his Heisman to lose, and I don't see him losing it in Oxford. If Auburn keeps winning - and I think they will - it sets up a huge Iron Bowl at Alabama on November 26th.
Quarter says: Auburn
Florida vs Georgia (Jacksonville) - I have to be honest. It's hard to care about this game. Both teams had high expectations, and both teams have been, basically, terrible. Georgia has been improving since receiver A.J. Green returned from suspension - they've won three in a row. Florida, on the other hand, comes in with a three game losing streak, and with an offense that spends as much time standing still - or going backwards - as it does doing anything positive at all. While Georgia spent last week struggling with Kentucky, Florida had an off week to try to figure out how to move the ball. The Gator defense has been porous at times, but is playing better than expected most of the time. I think the Florida players and coaches need this win desperately. And, somehow, I think they'll get it.
Quarter says: Georgia
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