My Crystal Ball Says...

...that I know what will happen in this week's key games. Always remember that I'm right, and your team sucks.


Central Michigan at Boston College - I like Central Michigan. Every time I think of them, I am reminded of the great Gordon Lightfoot song The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald. "The legend lives on from the Chippewa on down..." I love that song. These Chippewas probably have the best quarterback you've never heard of. Dan LeFevour is 12th in the nation in passing efficiency, which puts him ahead of better-known names like Houston's Case Keenum, and USC's Matt Barkley. The biggest improvement for Central Michigan this year has come on defense. After allowing 30 points per game last year, this season they are allowing just 15. Their only loss on the way to a 7-1 record came in the season opener at Arizona. Boston College brings a 5-3 record into the game. Their signature win is a 7 point upset of an inconsistent Florida State team, and they are coming off a disappointing finish in last week's 20-16 loss at Notre Dame. The Chippewa strategy should be obvious; stop the BC running game, and force Eagle QB Dave Shinskie to make plays. Shinskie has been shaky at times. He threw for 279 yards against the Irish, but also threw 3 interceptions. When the "gales of November came early" Chestnut Hill has been a tough place to win. But Saturday's forecast calls for a crisp, sunny day. This would be a huge win for the Chippewas, and, if they can get an early lead, I think they'll pull off the upset.

Louisiana Tech at Idaho - It turns out that Idaho has more than just potatoes. They also have a pretty good football team. Since I'm officially on their bandwagon now, I thought I'd feature one of their games here. When the Vandals (I love that name) reached the 6 win mark two weeks ago, they had already doubled their win total of the last two seasons combined. Now that they are bowl-eligible, and with games against Fresno State and Boise State still to come, Idaho needs this win to continue to improve their bowl status. Head coach Robb Akey has changed the attitude in Moscow, and the Vandals (6-2) have demonstrated some previously untapped toughness; they are 3-0 in games decided by 4 points or less. Louisiana Tech (3-4), on the other hand, is just not very good. They are coached by Derek Dooley, son of legendary coach Vince Dooley. In some strange way, Derek's struggles in Ruston seem to be payback for all the years of suffering his dad caused me when he coached at Georgia. What are the odds that father and son would both coach at schools whose mascot is Bulldogs? This Saturday, the suffering will continue, as the
Vandals sack this pack of Bulldogs.

#22 South Carolina at Tennessee - This should be a really interesting game. Both teams have good defenses and sketchy offenses. The Volunteer defense hasn't surrendered an offensive touchdown since the 4th quarter of the Auburn game - two games ago. The Gamecocks (6-2) are the worst team in the SEC in pass protection - having allowed 22 sacks, but the Vols haven't had a sack in 4 games now. Gamecock freshman receiver Alshon Jeffery has had a busy month - he has 21 receptions for 414 yards and five touchdowns in the last 4 games. Both quarterbacks are inconsistent. When SC's Stephen Garcia and UT's Jonathon Crompton are good, they can be really good. When they are bad, they look like Pop Warner kids trying to play with the big boys. Despite all the bluster from loudmouth coach Lane Kiffin, Tennessee is 3-4. One thing Loudmouth Lane will find out eventually is that there are certain people in the SEC you just don't want to aggravate. Steve Spurrier is one of those people. When he holds a grudge, it's forever. I think Tennessee gave a great effort against Alabama last week, so much so that I don't think they can do it again this week. I have a feeling the Gamecocks will pull the upset, and, afterward, Spurrier will provide the college football world with one of those stinging verbal barbs for which he is (in)famous.

#5 USC at #10 Oregon - Something about USC (6-1) always makes me root against them. I'm not sure what it is. For one thing, you'd have a hard time convincing me that Reggie Bush is the only player they ever paid, but that's another story. I was nearly delirious when the Trojans choked in Seattle. Now they have a chance to do it in Eugene. Something about the Pacific Northwest... Tight end Anthony McCoy has become one of Matt Barkley's favorite targets, but he has a sprained ankle, and probably won't play. Everyone wants to tell me how good USC's defense is. You know where they rank nationally? They are 16th. That's definitely good. You know who is ranked ahead of them? Army (15th in total defense). Still scared? Meanwhile, since the season-opening beatdown by Boise State, Oregon (6-1) has been unbeatable. Literally. QB Jeremiah Masoli has been on fire, although hobbled by a lingering knee injury. The Duck defense has chipped in too, forcing 19 turnovers, which ties them for tops in the Pac 10 in that category. Sportswriters like ESPN's Ted Miller tell us that Oregon can't possibly line up and run right at USC. I think they can. And they will.

#1 Florida vs Georgia (in Jacksonville) - If you've never been to the World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party, or don't know much about it, the depth of the passion is hard to understand. Earlier this week, Georgia (4-3) linebacker Rennie Curran may have said it best, "The hatred is already there with the fans, the coaches, everyone. There's no other way to put it: We just don't like each other." It is one of the nation's most bitter and most entertaining rivalries. When Spurrier arrived at Florida (7-0) in 1990, he knew very well about some of the pain and suffering the Dawgs had inflicted on the Gators. And he holds a grudge. He started a trend that has seen Florida win 16 of the last 19 meetings, and the Gators have inflicted some pain and suffering of their own. In 2002, the loss to Florida was the only thing that kept the otherwise unbeaten Bulldogs from playing for the national championship. This year, the analysis is simple. The instant that Florida takes the lead, they can start to feel comfortable. If the lead gets to double digits, the game is over. Georgia will not score on the nation's best defense, and Florida's offense is like a trap waiting to be sprung. When it breaks loose, it's going to be a thing of beauty. Or it's going to be ugly. If you're a Dawg. Gators win.

Moments in College Football History

Run, Lindsay, Run

The last Saturday in October is the traditional day for the famous, neutral site Florida-Georgia game known as the World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party.

[I am using the traditional name for the game, despite the wishes of the current presidents of the respective universities, both of whom would rather pretend that calling it something else will somehow miraculously cause fans to curtail their game-related festivities. Note to Bernie Machen (UF) and Michael Adams (UGA): Everybody but you thinks your idea is really dumb.]

This rivalry has given the college football world many notable moments over the years, but, none, perhaps, as memorable as "Run, Lindsay, Run."

Leading up to the game in 1980, Georgia had been carried by the legs of a freshman tailback named Herschel Walker to an 8-0 record and a #2 ranking.

The Gators had ridden the arm of freshman quarterback Wayne Peace in a wide open offense (the "Run and Shoot") installed by first year coordinator Mike Shanahan, then 28 years old. Florida had fought their way to a 6-1 record, but was still recovering from the debacle that was the 0-10-1 season in 1979.

Against the Gators, Walker had another terrific day, carrying the ball 37 times for 238 yards. But Florida scratched and clawed, and, somehow, led 21-20 when they punted the ball inside the Georgia 9 yard line with 1:35 remaining.

Tension had built in the stadium during the afternoon as the public address announcer updated the crowd on the score of the Georgia Tech - Notre Dame game. The Irish were unbeaten, and ranked #1. A Notre Dame loss, combined with a Georgia win, would move the Bulldogs into the top spot.

Facing a 3rd and 11 from their own 8 yard line with 1:08 to play, an obvious passing situation, Georgia quarterback Buck Belue took the snap and dropped back.

Bear in mind that, when you have a running back like Herschel Walker, you don't pass much. You don't have to. At that point, Belue had attempted 15 passes in the game, and completed just 6. He'd been intercepted twice.

Peace, by comparison, completed 20 of 37 passes for 286 yards and a touchdown.

Belue, under pressure in his own endzone, spotted Bulldog receiver Chuck Jones deep down the field. He was covered. In desperation, Belue rolled to his right, and heaved the ball to Lindsay Scott, who had briefly broken open at the Georgia 25.

The video here is accompanied by the play-by-play description of the legendary Voice of the Bulldogs Larry Munson. I urge you to listen to the audio in its entirety...



After 92 yards, Lindsay Scott flashed across the goal line for the winning score. Georgia 26. Florida 21.

Georgia Tech and Notre Dame tied 3-3 that day, and Georgia claimed the top spot in the poll.

The Bulldogs went on to beat Notre Dame in the Sugar Bowl, and win a national championship, their 12-0 record preserved by the improbable combination of Buck Belue to Lindsay Scott.

Upon Further Review (Week 8)

Congratulations to Tarheel Fans

I would like to take a moment to congratulate the football fans at the University of North Carolina for accomplishing something I thought was absolutely impossible.

During Thursday night's game against Florida State, you spent so much time booing that you actually made me want to root for the Seminoles.

I thought Tennessee fans were bad.

You were lousy fans when your team was ahead, and even lousier fans when your team choked on national television, and lost 30-27 after leading 24-6. Boooo.

I can only imagine how much you pout about the powder blue during basketball season. All I can say is... go Blue Devils.

I'm on the Wagon

I don't like bandwagon fans. Seriously. Have some loyalty. Have some conviction. Have some consistency. Don't just change your allegiances when it's convenient.

Having said that, I would like to announce that I am jumping on two different bandwagons right now, but, rest assured, I'm doing it for the right reasons.

I am now officially a University of Richmond fan. I will admit it openly, and without shame. And I will tell you that I became a fan just because I think their helmets are really, really cool.

The fact that Richmond opened the season with a win at Duke, and are now 7-0 and atop the FCS (Division I-AA) polls doesn't hurt.

The Richmond Spiders. I am now on the wagon.

Idaho first caught my attention because, come on, you have to like any team called the Vandals.

I bought a hat. Then a T-shirt. I wear them both often.

But this year, there's even a nice little story in Moscow (Idaho).

After winning just 3 games in the previous two seasons combined under coach Robb Akey, the Vandals are 6-2 this year, and already bowl eligible. Granted, they got smashed 70-45 by Nevada on Saturday, but I think they'll finish the season 8-4, and get a nice bowl trip as a reward.

The Idaho Vandals. I am now on the wagon.

Hold the Hype

Is there anybody else out there who thinks that it's still too early to hype anybody for the Heisman?

This season, the race is wide open. So let's leave the conjecture aside for a couple more weeks, and see what happens.

Some of the early alleged favorites are struggling, while other strong candidates are emerging.

The award is supposed to be based on a player's performance during the entire season, right? Not just their performance in September and October. There are still big games left to be played, and conference races to be decided.

For some reason, there is a tendency among the Heisman voters to make up their minds early, and then spend the rest of the season defending their choice like it was the Alamo.

In past years, some Heisman ballots have been mailed in before the conference championship games have been played. How can anybody do that if they take their voting role seriously? Ballots received before the end of the season should be discarded, and that voter should lose the right to participate further.

Hold the hype. Watch and enjoy. It's college football. The season will be over soon enough. Why rush it?

One of Them Had to Win

The tension must have been nearly unbearable Saturday when Ball State visited Eastern Michigan. Coming into the game, Ball State was 0-7, and Eastern Michigan 0-6. Talk about two teams badly in need of a win...

The Cardinals' running backs must have been inspired.

Cory Sykes had 23 carries for 203 yards and three touchdowns. Not to be outdone, MiQuale Lewis carried the ball 26 times for a career-high 301 yards and a touchdown.

Ball State won, 29-27.

As a reward, they get to host Ohio this weekend, while still-winless Eastern Michigan visits Arkansas. Ouch.

My Crystal Ball Says...

...that I know what will happen in this week's key games. Always remember that I'm right, and your team sucks.


Some of you may have noticed that I didn't post the visions provided by My Crystal Ball last week.

The sponsor backed out at the last minute, so the hundreds of dollars I would have made while typing suddenly dried up.

So I said, "The hell with it." And I drank beer instead.

This week, you get a slightly expanded version of My Crystal Ball, brought to you by new Honey Roasted Buffalo Chips.

They told me the check was in the mail. I swear.

Tennessee at #2 Alabama - I'm already tired of hearing about Mark Ingram, but I guess it's understandable for a guy who's leading the nation in rushing. Wait. What did you say? He's not leading the nation? He's 4th? Behind Ryan Mathews of Fresno State, Darius Marshall of Marshall and Dion Lewis of Pittsburgh? So why haven't I heard of those guys? I don't understand it either. Clearly, Ingram must have dominated Tennessee last year, right? Well, no... 4 carries for 1 yard. Despite what the alleged experts tell you, Alabama is not unbeatable. They struggled with Kentucky before the Wildcats self-destructed with 5 turnovers, and they managed one whopping offensive touchdown in last week's win over the Gamecocks. Tennessee has a decent running back of their own, Montario Hardesty (who, by the way, averages just 17 yards per game less than Ingram), and their defense is good enough to keep this game close. The key to this game is their quarterback, Jonathan Crompton. He had his first great great game of the year two weeks ago when the Vols trounced Georgia 45-19. If he has two great games in a row, the Vols win.

#8 TCU at #16 BYU - This is a huge game between two teams that most of the nation never watches. TCU is 4th in the nation in total defense. BYU is 6th in scoring. Something's got to give. It's Gary Patterson's 10th year at TCU, and it doesn't take long to notice that they are a well-coached team. They make few mistakes. They have a very good defense, a solid rushing attack, and a dependable quarterback. They are one of just seven teams who remain unbeaten. On the other sideline, if Bronco Mendenhall didn't coach, what else would he do? That's clearly the best name in football. It's worth noting here that BYU also has running backs named Unga and Tonga. I'm not kidding. In the name game, the Cougars win. "Quarterback U" has given the football world a steady stream of talent over the years - Gifford Nielsen, Marc Wilson, Jim McMahon, Steve Young, Robbie Bosco, Ty Detmer, etc. Max Hall is another good one. But, I have to tell you, I've seen Florida State play a few times, and I can not bring myself to pick a team that got pounded at home 54-28 by this year's Noles. TCU will use a handful of running backs to pound that Cougar defense, and then Andy Dalton will start tossing the ball over their heads. And, on second thought, BYU might not win the name game hands down. TCU trumps all by calling themselves the Horned Frogs.

Illinois at Purdue - In his famous book, Catch-22, Joseph Heller wrote, "Some people are born mediocre, some people achieve mediocrity, and some people have mediocrity thrust upon them. With him it was all three." He wasn't writing about Ron Zook, but he could have been. He has a reputation as a great recruiter and a tireless worker, but he should abandon the sideline work on Saturdays to the cheerleaders. He's just not a guy who knows how to build team chemistry. I stumbled on the Fighting Illini Football page on Facebook, and discovered that their page administrator (an Illinois sports information employee) has been deleting all the negative comments from fans, and it's become nearly a full time job. I've read that rowdy fans in the stands at the last home game were telling recruits not to go there. It's that bad. Purdue's offense played reasonably well in a series of close losses before the defense finally chipped in and they sprung the trap on Ohio State last week. Running back Ralph Bolden is quietly putting up some decent numbers. Can the Boilermakers make it two wins in a row? Yes.

Auburn at #9 LSU - These two teams almost always play hard-hitting, entertaining games. If you've never watched a Tiger brawl, make an effort to find a TV at 7:30 Saturday night. Auburn started the year 5-0 under first year coach Gene Chizik, and everyone thought he had somehow worked a miracle. Then they ran into Arkansas and Kentucky teams badly in need of a win, and, suddenly, the Tigers are in the midst of a two game losing streak, and, well, badly in need of a win. Ben Tate and Onterio McCalebb average over 5 yards a carry, and Auburn has quietly risen to 8th in the nation in total offense, thanks to the strength of their running game. LSU seems to win with smoke and mirrors. They are loaded with talent on both sides of the ball, but, while the defense is decent, the offense is pitiful, currently 112th. QB Jordan Jefferson can throw the ball a mile, and Brandon LaFell and Terrance Toliver are big, tall receivers. If they ever get the passing game really working, it will be amazing. Still, they just keep finding ways to win games. It wouldn't take much to convince me that Les Miles is the luckiest coach in America. I think the Tigers get lucky again in this one. ;) The LSU Tigers.

#1 Florida at Mississippi State - Only two of Florida's six defenseive tackles are healthy right now. And LB Brandon Spikes is nursing a groin injury. This is not a good thing when you have to play a Mississippi State team that is 13th in the nation in rushing, and has a bruising back like Anthony Dixon (who, by the way, averages just 13 yards per game less than Alabama's Mark Ingram). First year coach Dan Mullen knows Urban Meyer well - until this year, they've coached together since 1999. Does this give the Bulldogs an advantage? Maybe. But, bear in mind that Meyer also knows Mullen well. The Bulldogs' problem has been consistency on offense, and a porous defense - currently 59th nationally. For some reason, Florida teams of the past seemed to sink into the Mississippi quagmire when they visited. The Gators have lost their last 4 in Starkeville, dating back to 1986. But this is not your father's Florida team (I can't believe I just typed that). With the offense still trying to find a steady rhythm, the defense has been dominating games for the Gators. I think Meyer will challenge his offense to step up and win one for his battered stop troops. When in doubt, take any team that has Tim Tebow at quarterback. I hope Florida wins easily so I can watch the LSU-Auburn game.

Gator Fans Grumbling. Again.

Remember this from last year?


Or this?

These are silly things that fans sent to me as they expressed their displeasure with the Gator offense. It was right after the loss to Ole Miss, and suddenly every Joe Plumber on the street had become Bob Offensive Coordinator.

It's happening again.

In regular season games during the four previous years under Urban Meyer, the Gators are 18-2 against teams in the SEC East, and 6-6 against teams from the West. Florida always seems to have an ugly game against an SEC West opponent. Usually they lose that game.

But, this time, they won it.

Even after Tebow's famous "Promise" speech last year, Florida stumbled to a 17-7 lead at Arkansas, only to have the offense finally come alive in the 4th quarter - thanks to Chris Rainey and Jeff Demps - for a 38-7 final score.

Suddenly the stars shined brightly again, and the sun and sky had returned to their proper Orange and Blue alignment.

After last week's game, Tim Tebow was asked how he felt about the Gator offense up to this point, and he said, "I'm the quarterback of a team that's 6-0, and I'm pretty happy about that."

The question for Gator fans is why aren't you?

Stand up and scream like hell. Enjoy it. Because in this age of parity in college football, few teams will ever dominate the way Florida has recently.

The Gators have had a bulls eye on their back from the very first day of the season, more so than at any other time ever.

Do you remember who was #1 in the BCS Rankings at the end of the regular season last year? Alabama. Followed by Oklahoma, Texas and then Florida.

Do you know who was #1 going into the bowl game? Oklahoma. Florida had knocked off previously unbeaten and #1 Alabama in the SEC Championship game, and jumped Texas into the #2 spot while Oklahoma assumed the top ranking.

As much as it may be convenient to forget it, the Gators were the underdogs last year. This year, they are the hunted. They'll be expected to win big despite the fact that they're going to get everybody's best game.

Which leads me to Saturday's game against Mississippi State...

The Gators are winless in their last four trips to Starkeville dating back to 1986. Galen Hall lost there. Steve Spurrier lost there. Twice. Ron Zook lost there - the game that cost him his job.

If you've ever been to Starkeville, you understand how difficult it is to get motivated to do anything besides hurry to catch the first bus out of town.

Starkeville is a place that makes Gator fans nervous, and, this year, they are more nervous than ever.

Here are some things I've heard from grumbling Gators:

The offense is disappointing, if not downright terrible.

I'm going to give you two sets of passing numbers from the Arkansas game. You tell me which ones belonged to Ryan Mallett, and which ones belonged to Tim Tebow.

A) 12 completions on 27 attempts for 224 yards, 1 TD, no INT's

B) 17 completions on 26 attempts for 255 yards, 1 TD, no INT's

If you said the first set belonged to Tim Tebow, you are wrong. Despite all the hype about the Arkansas offense and Ryan Mallett's passing abilities, Tebow had a better day, statistically speaking.

It's not always a work of art, and they're not scoring points in bunches like they sometimes did last year, but Florida still leads the SEC in scoring offense, rushing offense and total offense, and they're fifth in passing offense.

The defense is disappointing, if not downright terrible.

There were some breakdowns against Arkansas, and the defense gave up some big plays, but Lawrence Marsh, Justin Trattou and Jermaine Cunningham played hurt, Brandon Spikes left the game very early with a groin injury, and did not return, and Jaye Howard didn't play.

Injuries will still be a key factor against the Bulldogs - several starters will again be hampered or miss the game entirely - but I expect the defense to play with more intensity against an offense that is still finding its way in the first year of a new system. The Arkansas offense was the best the Gators have seen up to this point, and may be the best they will see all year, at least until championship game and bowl time.

Florida still leads the nation in scoring defense, and is second in total defense and pass efficiency defense.

This is going to be a tough game because Bulldog coach Dan Mullen knows what we're going to do on offense.

Why look at it that way? Dan Mullen and Urban Meyer know each other well. Until this year, they had coached together since Mullen became a grad assistant at Notre Dame in 1999 when Meyer was the wide receivers coach. Don't you think Meyer also knows what Mullen is going to do? You know what they're saying in Starkeville? This is going to be a tough game because Urban Meyer knows what we're going to do on offense. Only they have better athletes and more of them.

I have a feeling that Florida's offense will play well in this game. I know the defense will. Something tells me this one won't even be close. But, even if it is, I'm willing to bet that the Gators will find a way to score more points than the other team.

On Sunday, Florida will be 7-0. And, despite the grumbling, I think Gator fans should feel pretty happy about that.

Moments in College Football History

The Greatest Team Ever?

If someone asked you which college football team was the greatest ever, what would you say?

Army in 1945? Oklahoma in 1956? Alabama in 1961? Nebraska in 1971? USC in 1972?

What about Sewanee in 1899? They would get my vote.

A small Episcopal college located in the mountains of Tennessee about 50 miles west of Chattanooga, Sewanee, The University of the South began playing football in 1891. Having adopted royal purple as their color, "the Purple" (they later became the Tigers) may have been nursing an inferiority complex.

The 1899 squad thought they had something special, and set out to prove it to anyone who would pay attention.

Bear in mind this was back in the day when less scrupulous schools would pad their rosters with players who rarely attended class, or, in some cases, with players who never even enrolled.

But this Sewanee squad was rather unique. When they boarded a train for the Greatest Road Trip Ever, the 21 man roster included 4 theological students, 4 medical students and 5 law students.

Along with their coach, Billy Sutter, a student manager named Luke Lea, and a trainer, they traveled 2500 miles by rail, and played 5 games in 6 days.

Here are the results:

Nov. 9 (Thursday) at Austin.............Sewanee 12 Texas 0
Nov. 10 (Friday) at Houston.............Sewanee 10 Texas A&M 0
Nov. 11 (Saturday) at New Orleans.....Sewanee 23 Tulane 0
Nov. 13 (Monday) at Baton Rouge......Sewanee 34 LSU 0
Nov. 14 (Tuesday) at Memphis.........Sewanee 12 Ole Miss 0

They won all 5 games, against some of the most respected teams of the time, and didn't surrender a single point.

The 1899 Sewanee Purple went on to finish 12-0, and just to pad their resume, they also beat Georgia, Georgia Tech, Tennessee, Auburn and North Carolina.

Sewanee eventually joined the Southeastern Conference as a charter member in 1932, but, by then, had chosen to emphasize academics over athletics. They never won a game in the new league, and withdrew in 1940.

While they still compete in Division III (non-scholarship) football, they are most proud of the 25 Rhodes Scholars and dozens of Fulbright Scholars that have wandered their halls.

But when anyone asks me which was the greatest college football team of all time, there is no doubt in my mind.

Sewanee in 1899.

Upon Further Review (Week 7)

Berry and Liquor Don't Mix

West Virginia defensive tackle Scooter Berry has been suspended indefinitely by head coach Bill Stewart after being arrested over the weekend for public intoxication and disorderly conduct.

Before this recent incident, Berry had started 25 games for the Mountaineers, and was among their most experienced players.

But he was probably best known for sitting next to teammate Johnny Dingle, and, thus, providing the college football world with one of the most entertaining photograph opportunities in recent history.

Ramblin' Wreckage

When Georgia Tech beat Virginia Tech on Saturday, fans of the Ramblin' Wreck stormed the field and turned the north endzone goalpost into Ramblin' Wreckage.


But leave it to the engineers to take it further.

They removed the gold-painted uprights from the stadium, and carried the Wreckage to the steps of Georgia Tech president G.P. Peterson's house, where they intended to leave it for him as a gift to commemorate the victory.

Being the kind-hearted engineers that they are, they first used a hacksaw to cut it into manageable pieces, then gently deposited the Wreckage before retiring to the nearest pub.

Speaking of Ramblin'

For some reason, a simple but noteworthy fact has gone largely un-noticed since Georgia Tech beat Virginia Tech.

Can you tell me how many passes Georgia Tech completed in the winning effort? Go ahead, think. I'll wait.

The answer is... 1. Yellow Jacket QB Josh Nesbitt attempted 7 passes in the game and completed 1 while beating the fourth ranked team in the nation. Granted, that pass went for 51 yards, but Nesbitt carried the ball 23 times for 122 yards and 3 touchdowns. Couple that with Jonathan Dwyer's 20 carries for 82 yards, and you have the makings of a Hokie-whipping.

So what's the point, you ask? The point is that there are times in college football when you can forget everything the alleged experts say. They will talk about offensive balance, keeping the defense guessing, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But, when it comes right down to it, good teams will find something that works, and keep doing it. At least until the other team stops it. It doesn't have to be pretty. It doesn't even have to be logical. You just have to find a way to score more points than the other team.

That is one of the things that make college football so great. Every game is different, every matchup is different, and, on any day, it's anyone's game if things go your way. If you don't think that's true, explain this: Miami beat Georgia Tech 33-17, Virginia Tech beat Miami 31-7, and Georgia Tech beat Virginia Tech 28-23.

So which is the best team in the ACC? I have absolutely no idea...

Silly Video of the Week

This is a bit silly. It's also AWESOME...

Upon Further Review (Week 6)

How to Get the Call

In the game of football, referees reign supreme. In theory, they are there to make sure both teams play by the rules. While some penalty calls are cut and dried, others depend on the "judgment" of the official.

As we have often seen, the decisions they make can directly affect the outcome of a game.

This is where the head coaches come in. While prowling the sidelines, coaches will try different approaches to get the officials to see things their way.

Some coaches play buddy-buddy, while others try to intimidate. Some coaches appeal to the referee's sense of fairness, while others simply beg.


In case you were wondering which approach LSU coach Les Miles uses, well, the mystery ends here.

(Photo courtesy of the Associated Press)

How About a Nice Big Bear(cat) Hug?

There are 9 unbeaten teams remaining in the FBS (Division I-A). Can you name them?

Come on. The first few are easy. Florida, Alabama, Texas, and Boise State. From there it gets a little tougher... Iowa, TCU, and Kansas.

The last two play each other Thursday night when South Florida hosts Cincinnati. Yep. South Florida and Cincinnati.

The Bearcats have slowly climbed to number 8 in the AP poll. They have a quarterback who is quietly piling up some great numbers. Tony Pike has completed 116 of his 174 pass attempts for 1493 yards with 13 touchdowns and just 3 interceptions. He is starting to appear on some Heisman Watch lists.

My favorite Bearcat is wide receiver Mardy Gilyard. He's having a great senior year. In five games he has 38 catches for
517 yards and 7 touchdowns. That means he's on pace to have 91 receptions in the regular season. Not bad.

But if you are a faithful reader of Illegal Procedure, you might remember that, in last year's game against South Florida, Mardy Gilyard gave the world one of the most sincere and heartwarming moments of kindness I have ever witnessed in a college football game.

After sprinting through the endzone in an attempt to catch an overthrown pass, his momentum carried him into the stands where he crashed into a young boy. The aftermath was captured by ESPN cameras...



I don't know how good Cincinnati really is. But I know that I am a Mardy Gilyard fan for life.

The Bone Head Call of the Week

Arizona quarterback Nick Foles had a respectable passing night against Washington on Saturday. He finished with 39 completions on 54 attempts for 384 yards.

The Wildcats had surged to a 33-21 lead with 4:16 left in the game. Normally, it's pretty hard to screw that up.

Normally.

With help from a personal foul penalty, Washington was able to charge down the field for a touchdown at the 2:55 mark. Arizona still ahead 33-28.

With two timeouts left, Washington opted to kick deep and play defense.

After a nice return, Arizona started on their own 37 yard line with 2:49 on the clock. On first down, Arizona offensive coordinator Sonny Dykes called a play that head coach Mike Stoops later said was a "run-pass option."

Here is what I want to know: WHY?

Any idiot can figure out that three handoffs and a punt - with Washington burning its timeouts in between - will leave the Huskies pinned deep in their own end needing a touchdown with maybe a minute left in the game and no timeouts. And that's assuming that you don't manage to get a single yard with your three running plays.

Foles - with the decision apparently left in his hands - threw a pass. The result can be seen in the video below:



Washington then went for two, and won 36-33.

Granted, the odds of that kind of play happening are pretty slim, but that's why you keep the ball on the ground.

Unless you're a bonehead.

Leave Tebow's Brain Alone

I was a sports writer once. It's been years now.

I quit because I discovered that sports writers are only slightly above sand spurs and love bugs on the list of Things That Exist Just to Annoy Us.

I know I'm stereotyping, but most of them should spend eternity in some dreadful place where they are forced to report exclusively on synchronized swimming.

Ever since Tim Tebow sustained a concussion in Florida's win at Kentucky on September 26, there has been nothing but conjecture and speculation on sports pages and websites across the nation.

If only I had a nickel for every time I've seen the word "if" used in one of these stories.

While one may exist somewhere, I've yet to run into a sports columnist who is also a neurologist. But you wouldn't know that by reading the pages and pages of unqualified opinions I've seen.

Today, on ESPN.com, Pat Forde has a piece called "Risk Not Worth the Reward for Florida." Really? How do you know what the risk is? Are you actually Tim Tebow masquerading as a sports reporter? No? Oh, so you must be his doctor then. I see.

CNN-SI.com has an article called "Tebow: To Play or Not to Play?" Wow. Is that clever or what? I read the whole thing, and, I must say, I got much more pleasure, and about the same amount of useful information, from their Cheerleader of the Week feature.

My favorite articles are the ones like this from CBS Sports.com entitled "Still No Word on Tebow's Status for LSU." In other words, they've written an entire news article about the fact that there is no news they can report.

According to the Gainesville Sun, even Gainesville Mayor Pegeen Hanrahan has chimed in, apparently saying, "“Real Gators want to be sure Tim Tebow is ready before they put him back in. This is a great opportunity for Brantley to show his skills!” in a recent Tweet.

Here is the thing that really gets me. All of these people have opinions to offer, and yet none of them really know anything.

They don't have access to the only information that would truly be useful in this situation. They've seen no reports from Tebow's MRI's and brain scans. They don't know Tebow's baseline scores on ImPACT (Immediate Post-Concussion Assessment and Cognitive Testing), SAC (Standard Assessment of Concussion), BESS (Balance Error Scoring System) and PCSS (Post Concussion System Scale), let alone his post-concussion scores.

They don't know what symptoms Tebow had, or for how long. They don't know what discussions have taken place between Tebow and his parents, his doctors, his coaches, or his teammates.

That is as it should be. This is a decision that should be left up to the people who do know.

Hats off to Oklahoma coach Bob Stoops who has been dealing with some of this same stuff regarding QB Sam Bradford's shoulder injury. Last week, a TV reporter asked what reaction Bradford had when he was told he wouldn't be playing against Miami. Stoops was mildly incredulous in response to the question, and said, "He wasn't told about the decision. He was involved in it."

I am confident that the people who are actually involved in this decision will do what they think is best for Tim Tebow. What sportswriters and the rest of us think is totally and completely irrelevant.

So leave Tebow's brain alone, and focus on the sports stories we really want. Like this gem from ESPN.com, "Golfer Loses Arm in Gator Attack."

If that doesn't win a Pulitzer Prize, what will?

My Crystal Ball Says...

...that I know what will happen in this week's key games. Always remember that I'm right, and your team sucks.


#21 Nebraska at #24 Missouri - This is a game between two teams that probably don't belong in the Top 25. Missouri started the season 4-0, and allegedly established some credibility with their pounding of Illinois in week 1. But it's becoming apparent that the Fighting Zookers stink. Nebraska took Virginia Tech down to the wire, but serious defensive lapses at the end cost them the game. Now in his second year, coach Bo Pelini has yet to see his Huskers beat a ranked team, but I think they will scrape by in this one.

#3 Alabama at #20 Mississippi - So far this season, Mississippi has been a disappointment, while Alabama has exceeded expectations. The Rebel defense has played pretty well, but the offense has been average, and QB Jevan Snead hasn't lived up to the pre-season hype. If you watched Alabama against Kentucky last week, they didn't look like world beaters. Until Kentucky helped them with four turnovers. Ole Miss will need a nearly perfect game at home to win. Avoid turnovers, penalties, and other mistakes. This game is HUGE for the Rebels. I think they find a way to win.

#1 Florida at #4 LSU - Am I the only person in the country that thinks LSU coach Les Miles is a dunderhead? He won a national championship two years ago because of superior talent and reckless gambling that seemed to pay off every time (going 5 for 5 on 4th downs against Florida, for example). The Tigers still have great athletes but their offense seems to sputter and their defense isn't exactly dominant (currently 40th in total defense). With all the focus on Tebow's skull this week, people seem to have forgotten that the Gators have other very capable ball carriers, a talented backup QB in John Brantley, and, oh, by the way, the nation's best defense. The Gators will win this one. Without Tebow. And it won't be close.

Wisconsin at #9 Ohio State - All week I've been reading that Wisconsin is "back" because they have their running game going like days of old, because QB Scott Tolzien is for real, blah, blah, blah. Let's get this straight right now (sorry, Bart!), the Badgers are 5-0 because they've played Northern Illinois, Fresno State, Wofford, Michigan State and Minnesota. Now they get to visit Ohio State. I hate Ohio State, but it looks like the Big Ten race will be decided on November 14th when Iowa visits Columbus. By the end of that day, Wisconsin will have 3 losses - counting this one to the Buckeyes.

Michigan at #12 Iowa - Remember Michigan? This is another team that everyone said was "back" after they beat Notre Dame. Come on. Beating Notre Dame is hardly even worth celebrating any more. I'm so tired of hearing about Tate Forcier... Let's see how good he is when he faces an actual defense, like, say, Iowa. The Hawkeyes are a bit hard to figure out. They struggle at home with the likes of Northern Iowa and Arkansas State, and then go on the road and manhandle Penn State. There's nothing flashy about them at all. They seem to play to the level of their opponents. So, if, indeed, Michigan is any good, Iowa will be better on Saturday.

Countdown to the Big Game

Upon Further Review (Week 5)

Stand Still Bobby While I Get That Knife Out of Your Back

I can't believe I'm doing this, but I need to talk to all the Nolies out there about Bobby Bowden. From years of experience, I already know that many of you are idiots, so I don't know why I should suddenly be surprised by the depth and breadth of your idiocy.

But I am.

Pay attention here, Nolies, because I am about to teach you something. It's not like those fake online classes you took, and you can't have somebody else learn it for you.

Florida State began playing football in 1947, not long after its transformation from an all-girls school to co-ed. Between 1947 and 1975, they won 150 games. From 1976 until now, they've won 311 games.

What happened in 1976? You hired Robert Cleckler Bowden to be your head football coach.

Bowden has the distinction of being the only coach in Division I-A (FBS) history to have 10 or more wins in 14 consecutive seasons. The Seminoles finished in the top 5 in the AP poll for 14 consecutive seasons. Since they joined the Atlantic Coast Conference in 1991, they have won the league title 12 times. And, of course, there are those two national championships, in 1993 and 1999.

The man has literally forgotten more about football than most of you have ever known.

So, Seminole fans, let me explain this in terms that even you can understand. Bobby Bowden is the only reason your program has even gotten to the level where you now feel you have the right to grumble about a couple of mediocre seasons.

I'm sure it's aggravating to watch your team lose games you have become accustomed to winning, or look bad even in victory. But all the whining coming out of Tallahassee now merely serves to reinforce the impression that you lack a basic sense of class.

Bobby Bowden gave you a football program that was worth watching, when you actually bothered to show up, and now you want to unceremoniously shove him out the door. Unbelievable.

I never liked Bowden. I think he has often been a poor disciplinarian, and, as recent events have shown, academic integrity at FSU has sometimes been sacrificed in the name of athletic achievement.

But I believe Bowden, like Joe Paterno, deserves to be able to coach as long as he wants. He has earned it.

You were willing to sit back and gloat during the decade and a half that your Seminoles dominated college football like no other team ever has. Let Bowden enjoy the twilight of his coaching career as much as you enjoyed its prime.

My Crystal Ball Says...

...that I know what will happen in this week's key games. Always remember that I'm right, and your team sucks.

#7 USC at #24 California - Listen carefully. Do you hear that sound? It's the sound of both of these teams still choking. Cal got destroyed 42-3 at Oregon last week, with star running back Jahvid Best managing just 55 yards on 16 carries. Meanwhile USC stumbled through a 27-6 win over Washington State after an embarrassing loss to Washington the previous week. I don't care what anybody says, USC just doesn't have the kind of talent they've had in the recent past. On top of that, QB Matt Barkley has been banged up, and then RB Stafon Johnson had a strange and very nearly tragic weightlifting accident. Cal, on the other hand, faced high expectations like this once before. In 2007, they started the season 5-0, and were on the verge of claiming the top spot in the polls, but, thanks to then-freshman QB Kevin Riley's failure to pass the ball or run out of bounds while trailing with no time outs (he ran up the middle and got stuffed), they missed an opportunity to kick a last-second game-tying field goal in a 31-28 loss to Oregon State. From there, they collapsed, going 1-6 down the stretch before winning their bowl game. Will history repeat itself? The Golden Bears are at home, and badly in need of redemption after last week's mauling, but I'll take USC.

#22 Michigan at Michigan State - Even though Michigan State is 1-3, they've been scoring points - 27, 30 and 30, respectively, in their 3 losses. The problem is their defense isn't very good. Michigan's defense isn't very good either (they are 89th in total defense). While they are 4-0, they've had the benefit of playing those first 4 games at home. Now, they have to hit the road. Michigan has won the last three times in East Lansing, but lost to the Spartans at home last year (then again, who didn't beat Michigan last year?). So who will win? I have no idea. but I'm so tired of hearing about Michigan QB Tate Forcier that I will be rooting for Michigan State (even though I hate them). Forcier is bound to play like a freshman one of these days. I think it will be Saturday.

#4 LSU at #18 Georgia - This is a tough game to call. Both teams have been sometimes shaky on offense and often disappointing on defense. LSU is clearly over-ranked, but they are 4-0. Georgia has been schizophrenic - scoring a combined 93 points in their two games against SEC opponents, and 37 points in their two non-conference games. LSU has two receivers that will tower over the Georgia secondary (Brandon LaFell at 6-3 and Terrance Toliver at 6-5). If QB Jordan Jefferson has a good day getting the ball to them, the Dawgs won't be able to keep up. Since 2001, Georgia is 20-5 against teams from the SEC West, but something tells me that LSU will pull this one off.

#8 Oklahoma at #17 Miami - Last week, Miami, for the first time this season, ran into a team with a living, breathing defense. The result was a 31-7 shellacking at the hands of Virginia Tech. Oklahoma, at least in theory, has a much better defense than the Hokies. They are #1 in scoring defense and #1 against the run. In their upset loss to BYU, they gave up just 14 points. In the two games since then, they have given up none. Even without Heisman Trophy-winning QB Sam Bradford, the Sooners are formidable. Once he got past the BYU loss, back-up QB Landry Jones has performed well. Miami QB Jacory Harris was fun to watch in their first two games. Last week, against the Hokies, he stunk, completing just 9 of 25 passes for 150 yards. I think the Oklahoma defense will be too much for the 'Canes to handle.

Texas A&M vs Arkansas (at Arlington, TX) - Neither of these teams is ranked, but this promises to be a very entertaining game. Arkansas is 4th in the nation in passing offense. Texas A&M is tops in total offense (#6 passing, #7 rushing). Add to this the fact that neither defense is particularly good, and you have the makings of fast-paced shootout. On paper, the Aggie offense is fairly balanced, while the Hogs live by the pass, and have a running attack that is only slightly more effective than having me carry the ball. If you listen to ESPN's Mark May, you would think Arkansas QB Ryan Mallett is the greatest thing since the invention of the forward pass. The fact is his team is 1-2, and about to be 1-3. When in doubt, go with the team that runs the ball better. In this case, it's clearly Texas A&M.