Friday, November 20, 2009

My Crystal Ball Says...

...that I know what will happen in this week's key games. Always remember that I'm right, and your team sucks.



#25 California at #17 Stanford - Head coach Jim Harbaugh has Stanford playing with attitude.   They are getting a bit obnoxious about it too.  It's kind of like the bratty little middle school kid down the street that starting taking steroids and working out, and showed up in high school ready to kick your ass.  ESPN.com's Ted Miller says their style of play may even be going a bit beyond the rules.  On his Pac 10 blog, he writes, "There are a few more pokes and grabs and punches in the pile-up and scrum at the line of scrimmage than in the past when Stanford suited up."  But nobody seems to care about that if your name isn't Brandon Spikes.  Note to all the alleged experts who spent two weeks villifying Spikes:  check Dictionary.com for the word "hypocrite" and then get back to me.  After scoring a total of 106 points in the last two games, Stanford has become the new favorite topic in the college football world.  The fact that those points came against Oregon and USC makes it particularly intimidating, especially if you're a California team that managed only a field goal against both of those teams.  The Golden Bears will be without running back Jahvid Best who is still out after suffering a concussion two weeks ago on one of the scariest plays of the yearShane Vereen has been an adequate replacement for Best, but quarterback Kevin Riley is mistake-prone, and Cal's defense is lousy (71st in total defense).  The Stanford offense has turned into a juggernaut behind Toby Gerhart, the nation's third leading rusher. All of this points to a Stanford win.  And possibly a hefty dose of eye gouging.  Fear the Tree.

#11 Oregon at Arizona - I've watched Arizona play once this year, in last week's loss at California, and I was not impressed.  How this Wildcat squad managed to beat Oregon State and Stanford earlier in the year, I have no idea.  Oregon is 6th in the nation in rushing offense, and LaMichael James has 100 or more yards rushing in each of the last five games.  But Arizona is a respectable 21st in rushing defense.  Wildcat quarterback Nick Foles has somehow put up some decent numbers, but, to me, he is most notable for his Bonehead Play of the Week back in Week 6,  Both teams are still alive in the Pac 10 race.  Both need to win out.  Arizona plays well at home - their three losses all came in road games - but I think the  Ducks win the game, and also win the competition to see which team has the ugliest uniforms.

#8 LSU at Mississippi - For some reason, Mississippi seems to be a popular pick here.  Even the oddsmakers in Vegas have the Rebels as a 4 point favorite.  I don't get it.  LSU may not be flashy, but they still have great athletes.  Their only losses came at the hands of two of the top three teams in the land.  One thing is certain; they will tackle Dexter McCluster better than Tennesee did.  Speaking of Tennessee, have I mentioned recently that Lane Kiffin is not only a classless loudmouth, he's a lying classless loudmouth?  I did?  Good.  Anyway, let me throw out some amazing statistics for you.  LSU's offense may be rather pedestrian, but their defense has allowed only three rushing touchdowns this year.  That ties them with Florida and Texas for tops in the nation in terms of fewest rushing touchdowns allowed.  And they continue to improve;  they haven’t allowed a touchdown on the ground in their last six games. Also, it should be noted that LSU has prevailed in each of their last four trips to Oxford, which will mean absolutely nothing this Saturday, but it sounds like I know what I'm talking about when I say that.  Or type it.  Mississippi is a team that doesn't play well when saddled with expectations, and everyone seems to expect them to win this one.  I don't.  I think a healthy Jordan Jefferson at quarterback (he missed last week's game against Louisiana Tech with a sprained ankle) can avoid the Rebel pass rush, and I think the Tiger defense will return Jevan Snead to the state of mediocrity he was enjoying before the Tennessee defense rolled over for him.  Speaking of Tennessee, have I mentioned that Lane Kiffin is a lying, classless loudmouth?

Kansas at #3 Texas - Mark Mangino is immense.  What I mean to say is he's immensely proud of the turnaround he has managed at Kansas.  A team that was a perennial doormat in the Big 12 suddenly found itself at 12-1 after the 2007 season, and proud owners of an Orange Bowl victory. And you better believe he is proud, or he will thump you in the chest, and berate you in front of your teammates.  But, after a 5-0 start to this year, the Jayhawks have now lost five in a row, and, suddenly, they stink.  A visit to Austin, Texas is not likely to provide a cure for stinking.  The Longhorns have been, rather quietly, issuing a good old Southwest-style beatdown to everybody they have played.  They continue on the collision course that, in all likelihood, has them meeting the winner of the SEC Championship game for all the marbles.  Everybody knows about Texas QB Colt McCoy and his darling roommate Jordan Shipley.  You probably don't know that Kansas signal caller Todd Reesing has some pretty respectable passing numbers too.  It won't help.  Kansas will continue to stink.  And Texas will continue to issue good old Southwest-style beatdowns.  At least until they play for all the marbles.

Florida International at #1 Florida - The key question in this game is, if you're Urban Meyer, how long do you leave Tim Tebow out there?  You don't want him to spend an entire Saturday on the sidelines getting rusty when you have the Seminoles coming to town next week for a big rivalry game.  But, let's face it, the Gators could probably win this game with me playing quarterback.  Florida fans would like to see future star John Brantley get some work.  Florida International is coming off a big win over the North Texas Mean Green and... Okay, okay.  Forget the hype.  This is likely to be horrible, one-sided game that will be about as interesting as watching paint dry.  One thing I have learned is that, when I need something interesting to say, I find an obscure, but fascinating statistic.  The SEC blog on ESPN.com tells us, "The No. 1 team in the AP poll hasn't lost a November home game to a team with a losing record since 1961. That year, a 2-4-1 TCU team knocked off No. 1 Texas in Austin on Nov. 18."  The FIU Panthers are 3-7, and not likely to add another footnote to the college football history books against the Gators this weekend.

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