Afterbirth (Week 3)

You know... the stuff that just kind of falls out when the party's over

The Myth of the Sweatervest Juggernaut Stops Here

Let’s all agree, right here, right now, to end the Myth of the Sweatervest Juggernaut. Ohio State hasn’t won a big game since the 2003 Fiesta Bowl, and, while I will be eternally grateful for that controversial upset of the stinking U, I am now perennially annoyed that I have to listen to early season blabber about the Buckeyes being a great football team.



Let’s agree to leave them out of the preseason top 10, out of any mention of Heisman or any other trophies, and off the list of national championship contenders until they show that they can behave like anything other than the sweatervest-wearing whiners they have become. It is apparent that, while your coach dresses like Mister Rogers, your team plays like Mister Rogers. Win a big game. Outside the Big 10+1. Then come talk to me.

Will anybody beat either USC or Oklahoma this year?

If I had to bet right now, I’d say NO. After last weekend, it looks like the Trojans won’t get much competition from the rest of the Pac 10. Cal got manhandled by a very average Maryland team. Arizona lost to previously winless New Mexico. Arizona State suffered an overtime loss to UNLV, and, as a consolation prize, get to host the Georgia Bulldogs this week. UCLA couldn’t manage a single point against a BYU team that scored 59 of them. Oregon State finally collected a win against Hawaii after losing their first two. Oregon, although they won a tough game at Purdue, is now down to their third string quarterback. And the Washington teams look terrible, collectively going 0-6 to start the season. Who will beat the Trojans?

Oklahoma has yet to score less than 52 points in each of their first three games. QB Sam Bradshaw is the real deal – currently second in the nation in passing efficiency. But the Sooners have a much tougher road. Saturdays will be a little harder as they begin conference play. I think the top four teams in each division of the Big 12 would be competitive in any other league besides their own and the SEC.

So Much for Crystal Balls

Okay, so I was a very dismal 4-5 this week in my predictions. But, seriously, other than my Ohio State pick – a mistake I will NEVER make again, now that we’ve all agreed that the Sweatervest Juggernaut is not – I had a lot of close calls. Kansas led South Florida 20-3 at one point before collapsing in the second half. Fresno State had opportunities to beat Wisconsin in a close game. The Battle of the Tech’s was another close one. And, while some may have predicted a Notre Dame victory, nobody could have predicted the Michigan turnover avalanche that sealed their fate early.

I swear I’ll do much better this week. Probably.