Afterbirth (Week 4)

You know... the stuff that just kind of falls out when the party's over.

I Rock. 'Noles Suck

I would like to point out that I went 9-0 on my Crystal Ball picks last week. Wake Forest kicker Sam Swank almost made me regret giving him props. After hitting 18 field goals in a row, dating back to last season, he was 4 for 7 Saturday night against Florida State. Fortunately, the Demon Deacons needed only two of those field goals to beat the Seminoles. The mighty ‘Noles had seven turnovers in the game, and their quarterbacks combined to go 12 for 36 passing with 5 interceptions.

What is the World Coming to?

You know that the stars are re-aligning when Vanderbilt breaks into the AP Top 25. Do you remember the last time the Commodores were ranked? Of course you do. It was in 1984. The number one song on the Billboard charts was John Waite’s “Missing You.” It displaced “What’s Love Got to Do With It?” by Tina Turner. Vandy has started this season 4-0, something they have done only four times since the war. As in World War II. I think Bobby Johnson is a heckuva coach, and he has Vanderbilt playing about as well as they can be expected to play. The toughest part of their schedule is still ahead of them, but, for now, I enjoy every time I look at the polls and see “Vanderbilt.”

School of Hard Knox

Knoxville News Sentinel sports writer John Adams wrote a great COLUMN following Tennessee’s pathetic showing against Florida. Among the memorable quotes: “What does Florida's Brandon James have to do for UT to stop kicking him the ball? Score twice on one play?”

In the Chase for the Heisman

If you think the Heisman Trophy is all about putting up great numbers, consider the day that Missouri’s Chase Daniel had on Saturday. He attempted 43 passes, completing 36 of them for 439 yards with 2 touchdowns and no interceptions. But the really remarkable thing is that, at one point in the game, he completed 20 straight passes, a Big 12 conference record.

Speaking of Numbers

Florida’s Tim Tebow isn’t putting up numbers like he did last season. He hasn’t had to. Florida’s defense is much improved, and the coaching staff hasn’t flipped past the first few pages of the offensive playbook in wins over Hawaii, Miami and Tennessee. But I found this stat, and this quote, on ESPN.com "...Tebow's going to be there when the Gators need him. Even though it wasn't his best day against the Vols, he was 6-of-8 for 95 yards and two touchdowns on third down." Now that's impressive.

Can't Blame the Rats

I was thinking about this after seeing highlights of the Rutgers 23-21 loss to Navy, during which Scarlet Knight QB Mike Teel took a swing at one of his teammates in sheer frustration. I often wonder about coaches who change jobs like they change clothes, jumping at “better” opportunities like rats leaving a sinking ship, with an apparent lack of regard for their current institution. But, if I may add another outdated metaphor, you have to strike while the iron is hot in the coaching profession. Or you end up like Greg Schiano at Rutgers.

In 2006, Schiano coached his team to a remarkable 11-2 record after decades of football futility in Piscataway. Suddenly, everyone was impressed. Athletic directors at bigger and better programs were interested. Schiano, undoubtedly flattered by the attention, insisted he was committed to the State University of New Jersey. In appreciation, Rutgers granted him a contract extension. Then the Scarlet Knights stumbled through an 8-5 season last year. This season, they’ve started 0-3, including Saturday’s loss to Navy, and they haven’t played a Big East conference game yet. If Schiano didn’t have a contract holding him in place, you wonder if he could even get a job managing a Taco Bell in Hackensack.

I can think of two other coaches who probably should have jumped ship while they had the chance. Kirk Ferentz led Iowa to consecutive records of 11-2, 10-3 and 10-2 starting in 2002. Other major universities showed interest. The NFL showed interest. Ferentz stayed in Iowa City. Only to suffer through a 6-7 season in 2006 and a 6-6 record last year. Jeff Tedford caught the eye of the college football world when his California Bears upset USC in 2003. By 2006, he had coached his team to a 10-3 record, and a high profile to which they were unaccustomed. Last season, Cal started 5-0 but lost 6 of their last 7 before finishing with an Armed Services Bowl win over Air Force. This year they’ve started 2-1, but were physically dominated in an unexpected loss to Maryand (click here for evidence). Both of these guys could have commanded big bucks just a few years ago. Now, they might be lucky to keep the jobs they have. So, when the rats jump ship for a bigger and better one, who can blame them? The ship they’re on now may start sinking in a year or two.

Look. Up in the Sky. It's a Bird. It's a Plane. No. It's a Scoreboard

For some unfathomable reason, Arkansas defensive end Damario Ambrose (#58) started spouting trash to Alabama’s John Parker Wilson on Saturday. This despite the fact that the Razorbacks trailed 42-7 at the time. I mean, what could he possibly have said? Only John Parker Wilson knows. But the Tide quarterback did the best thing a mature senior leader could do. He reminded Ambrose that there was a scoreboard at the end of the field displaying the numeric representation of a complete ass-kicking.