My Crystal Ball Says...

...that I know what will happen in this week's key games. Always remember that I'm right, and your team sucks.

#5 Ohio State @ #1 USC
Just for the record, I hate both of these teams. I think USC pays its players. I think Ohio State fans suck. Back in the days before the overtime format in college football, I asked an old friend of mine, a Gator fan, what outcome he hoped for when Florida State and Miami played each other. He replied, “I hope it ends in a scoreless tie with everybody (on both teams) dead.” That’s how I feel about this game. But, I get paid the big bucks (uh huh, right) to make a prediction, so here goes. My gut tells me that USC is a better team. And they are at home. But there is a little part of me that thinks Ohio State has spent a long time hearing that they are going to get steam-rolled in this game, and they’re probably a little pissed about it. I don’ t know why, but I’m going to listen to that little part of me and pick Ohio State.

#2 Georgia @ South Carolina
Steve Spurrier hates Georgia. And God bless him for that. And, despite pulling off the big upset in Athens last year, I don’t think the Cocks have the horses to beat the Dawgs this year. Surprisingly, the one thing Spurrier HASN’T gotten in his years in Columbia is good play from the QB position. He won’t get it this week either.

#10 Wisconsin @ #21 Fresno State
The Badgers bother me. Every year, they begin the season with lofty rankings. And every year, they beat the teams they should beat, and lose to Michigan or Ohio State. Last year, they didn’t play Michigan but they lost to Ohio State and Penn State. In 2006 they lost to Michigan, and didn’t play Ohio State. In 2005, they didn’t play Ohio State, and they managed to beat Michigan but lost to Penn State, Iowa and Northwestern. You see the pattern here. I think the Badgers may be good enough to beat the Bulldogs. Fresno’s win over Rutgers seems a little less impressive now that the Tarheels dismantled the Scarlet Knights in a thorough, demoralizing fashion. But since I’ll be rooting for Fresno State in this one, I’m going to pick them.

UCLA @ #18 BYU
Somehow, I’ve gotten over the hatred I had for BYU that stemmed from them winning the national championship by default in 1984. I don’t really like them. I just don’t hate them anymore. I DO, however, hate Bruin head coach Rick Neuheisel. BYU has won 12 games in a row – the nation’s longest winning streak. UCLA has lost 10 of its last 13 road games. I’m going with the Cougars.

#13 Kansas @ #19 South Florida
South Florida is a 3.5 point favorite in this one, but they struggled against UCF, needing overtime to pull out a 31-24 victory. Both teams are trying to establish themselves as perennial Top 25 material. Kansas won their first 11 games last year. South Florida finished 9-4 last year, but managed to beat then #17 Auburn, and pulled off a stunning upset of then #5 West Virginia. I’d like to pull for the Bulls, but I think Kansas may be the better team.

#9 Auburn @ Mississippi State
Mississippi State pulled 8 wins out of a hat last year, including surprising road wins over Auburn and Kentucky, and a home win over Alabama. They started this year with a loss at Louisiana tech, followed by a home win against Southeastern Louisiana. Auburn seems to have their QB situation settled, and, frankly, they just appear to be a better team. This game could be close, but I think the Tigers pull it off.

#16 Oregon @ Purdue
Oregon may have the worst QB luck of any team in the country. Dennis Dixon’s knee injury probably cost them a shot at the national championship last year. Then they lost projected starter Nate Costa at the beginning of fall drills this year. But, somehow, they lead the nation in total offense. Purdue, on the other hand, is riding a 14 game losing streak against ranked opponents. They’ve been known to throw the ball around a bit themselves, but I don’t think they can swim with the Ducks for very long.

Michigan @ Notre Dame
Did you ever think this game would roll around one pleasant fall and nobody would care? Michigan can’t seem to win a season opener now, and Notre Dame can’t seem to win at all. The oddsmakers have Michigan as a 2 point favorite on the road. I hate Michigan. But I hate Notre Dame worse.

Georgia Tech @ Virginia Tech
Georgia Tech is re-tooling under new head coach Paul Johnson. Virginia Tech is rebuilding after losing eight players to the NFL draft. Georgia Tech is one of 29 teams that have yet to throw an interception this year. Of course, they rank 111th in passing offense, having attempted only 28 passes in two games. If they can’t run on Virginia Tech, this game is over. Virginia Tech is one of only two teams to win 10 or more games in each of the last four seasons. But, in the battle of Tech’s, I think the Yellowjackets pull off the slight upset.